Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Relative Hilarity

I think I'm pretty damn entertaining. As a matter of fact, I think I'm one of the most entertaining people I know. In idle moments I'll think about funny things I've said or done, and it makes me think, "Gosh! I'm just so darn entertaining! How lucky I am that I can be constantly entertained by ME!" And then I read my blog entries over and over and revel in my entertainingness.

But let's not make this about me. For a brief moment in my selfish life, let's look to others who also entertain me. Of course there are the professional entertainers - can't get enough of Demitri Martin, for example. But looking closer to home, my little brother Derek is a terribly entertaining fellow. His antics put me to shame! I don't get to see or hear nearly enough from him since he lives in Portland OR and hasn't been able to master the concept of time zones. But when I do there's sure to be some jewel of entertainment, such as:

Why do cancer kids always have names like "Landon"? It's like cursing your kid to have cancer if you name him something like that.


Hey! I'm glad your coming out because I sold you to one of the Mexican prep cooks at work. I figured you would fetch the highest price because of your bilingual abilities. It will be cool. Cruz is his name and he is about 4 feet tall and he works out. He has a little bit of a temper, but I am sure you could tame him.

The kid makes me laugh full-belly laughs. So I'm glad there are other entertaining people in this world that I can look to in case I ever tire of looking at myself. (Don't be a hater, that might happen.
One day.)

Friday, March 9, 2007

Serial Barfer

On my walk yesterday from the Bethesda Library to my office (about 5 blocks) I noticed three blobs of nasty on the sidewalk that looked suspiciously like throw up. Of course I didn't inspect them closely, so I can't be sure. But that's what it looked like to me, and based on the comments of those around me, that's what it looked like to them.

I was surprised to see three blobs. All similar in color and content (again without really looking too closely). Three seems like a lot. Especially in one short walk along Bethesda Avenue.

This morning on my walk from the Metro to the office there was another one! Again, similar color and content. Of course, given the frequency and similarity of the sightings this can mean only one thing: There's a serial barfer loose in Bethesda!

Bethesdans, in light of this crisis, you should consider wearing goulashes until this foolio gets himself a bottle of Pepto and stops littering our streets with land mines of yucky.

(Consider this a Public Service Announcement. Too bad I don't need to do any community service, this would totally count.)

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Grammar Peeve

While busing to work I love to read the BlogLog in the Washington Post's Express magazine. Today they had a grammar peeve about the sentence "I'm doing good." I'd like to give a hearty "hell yeah" to that, and add my own grammar peeve.

I absolutely cannot stand it when people say "Where are you at?" Even worse is the ghettified "Where you at?" I have heart palpitations whenever those ridiculous Verizon walkie-talkie commercials air. They say "Where you at" about 86 times in 30 seconds. Torture, I tell you. Torture.

I know that my grammar isn't 100% perfect all of the time. So there's a little he-who-is-without-sin-cast-the-first-stone going on here - but COME On. Can we just, for the sake of humanity and my nerves leave that little "at" off? "Where are you?" is sufficient.

Thank you for your support. In return, tell me your grammar peeve and I'll try to accommodate.

Academy Award of Water

AquaDeco crushed the competition for the best packaging at the Berkeley Springs Water Tasting competition. Its hard to tell from this picture, but the bottle to the left is sitting on a stainless steel stand that lights the bottle with pale blue light. To the left is the velvet bag the bottle comes in. The Armenian producers only brought about 12 bottles, all of which were given to judges or other dignitaries before the Water Rush.

Interesting story about this water. Apparently, the bottles are manufactured in Italy. The water is from one of the mountains Moses ascended. I'm not sure which one, but they should pick another spring because it's pretty disgusting.

Disgusting water or not, this bottle was the ultimate status symbol of the night. I will not be surprised if recipients of the Aquadeco bottle have it installed as a hood ornament.