Saturday, January 24, 2009

Getting What you Pay For

Earlier today at Eastern Market I thought I'd grab a quick lunch.

ME: Hi! I'd like a 1/4 lb hot dog please.

HOT DOG MAN: Sure. Here you go.

ME: YUM! Thanks a lot!

Hands me my hot dog, and I move to the condiment station to sass it up. Meanwhile a snotty little teenage girl comes up to the hot dog stand.

SNOTTY GIRL to HOT DOG MAN: Are those done yet?

HOT DOG MAN: No. Sorry. There gonna be about 3 minutes.

SNOTTY GIRL: Another guy said they were gonna be 3 minutes. And that was like FIVE minutes ago!



HOT DOG MAN: I'm sorry, but it will be about three minutes.

Snotty Girl walks off in a huff.

Then Hot Dog Man turns to me and says with a big grin: I just gave you her hot dog!

Wherever you are Snotty Girl, I want you to know that that hot dog was EXTRA delicious.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Wherin I Was There; or The Unending Battle of Short vs Tall

Anything I could say couldn't possibly expand upon the events of this weekend. It was really amazing!

So instead of a thousand words about it, I'll just offer a few pictures.


If I had Binocular Eyes

Somehow our spot in front of the Smithsonian Castle was the designated Tall Person Sanctuary. Shorties like myself had a tough time of it. Well below the tree line, I had to poke my camera up and just shoot. Sometimes I got something good, sometime it was just sky, but all of the time being there was beyond amazing.

It was a bad weekend to be short, but an awesome weekend to be an American.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What's the Opposite of being too bored to blog?

So sometimes I'm not very good at posting because I'm totally boring and there is nothing of any interest happening AT ALL.

This hiatus has NOT been one of those times.

So much has been happening lately, I'm a little overwhelmed when I think about the 40 or so things I should be creating pithy posts about. I can't even deal with that kind of pressure!

So I post nothing.

But then I'm all in a quandry, because I don't want to forget it, either.

And if I know anything about myself it is that I am a Great Forgetter. I used to be a Great Rememberer, but I think my brain is full. There's no room in the Inn, but stuff keeps getting crammed in there. So now everything is all muddled up and I can't remember what year I did what, or who I was with, or if I've already shared such-n-such story with you twenty times. So I've got to just suck it up and jot it all down.

So really, this post is more for me than for you. Sorry world, I can't entertain you today. I got some 'membering to do.

Gave the funniest White Elephant present: Las Vegas in a Box! Each item had a luggage tag with a picture of the Fabulous Las Vegas sign and a clever little note about the present. Stuff like, "Know when to fold 'em" on the pack of cards. The box had the following stuff:
  • a roulette game
  • pack of cards
  • bridal veil
  • wig & dark glasses (I even got those old man dark glasses - so HOT)
  • a champagne glass
  • a trashy novel to read by the pool
  • a lounge music CD
  • a silk scarf to look the part
Clever, right? I was really excited about this present and thought it would be the toast of the party. But then someone brought a HUGE bottle of Vodka ... and obviously Vegas in a Box cannot possibly compete with vodka.

Christmas was great ... spent it here. The heat went out twice. Brrr-a-la-brrr-brrr.

New Year's was awesome. I went to two parties. I was conspicuous at the first party for two reasons: First, I was the only girl. Second, I was the only straight person. We had a great time, but I made sure to skedaddle before midnight. I wasn't sure what might happen, but I was pretty sure it'd be awkward.

Directly after New Year's the celebrations for my birthday began. I had expected it to be a very low-key year since my birthday was on a Sunday and everyone knows that Sunday birthdays are the Lamest Birthdays of them All. But it wasn't. Not low key at all.

The festivities began on Saturday and just kept on going, and going ...

  • Treated myself to a box of gourmet cupcakes from Hello, Cupcake
  • Treated myself to a big bowl of Tangysweet FroYo
  • Treated myself to the Broadway production of Legally Blonde at the Kennedy Center

  • Treated myself to a lazy day around the house
  • Treated myself to a hot dog/chips/diet coke combo for lunch. (YUM!!)
  • Maria made me a steak dinner
  • Charlene made a riiiiiidiculous Rasperry-Lemon cheesecake

Happily Birthdayed I thought the fun was over.

Wrong. The fun was JUST BEGINNING!

  • Work pals take me to lunch and make a big production with chocolate cake and singing.
  • During lunch they try to convince me to go to drag bingo. "Sounds like fun, but will it help me with my New Year's Resolution to meet straight men?" I ask. Probably not, but still will be fun.

  • Work pals tell the Drag Queens at drag bingo that A) its my birthday and B) I'm Mormon. (As such I was a tiny bit out of place at a gay sports bar).
  • Sang Happy B with my new favorite ladies Shiqueeta Lee and Akasha Cassadine
  • Forced to do a shot (of cranberry juice) to the stomping and cheering of an entire bar
  • Being called to the front to call out the numbers
  • Being generally Heckled and Celebritied all night long
All of us with the fabulous Shiqueeta Lee and Akasha Cassadine.

Camie wanted to through me a party because she hadn't been able to participate in any of the other parties. I was well and truly exhausted by this point, but thought it would be fun to have people over to make decorate cookies and have a quiet night in.

So we did. It wasn't that quiet. But it WAS super fun! Even Mustard decorated one or two.

I never thought turning 34 would be so action packed! I'm pooped.