Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The 20 Worst Are The 20 Best

You know how its so awesome when people take pictures of things and add captions to them that make them even more hilarious slash awesome? I love that. I also love music and year end lists. So when I came across this hilarious list from Pitchfork Media I was like, "Score! Its a Funny picture/caption, Music, List TRIFECTA!!!"

The 20 Worst Album Covers of 2008

The ones that make me LOL 100% of the time are:
My Morning Jacket
Santogold
Septicflesh

(I also really like that link to the menwholooklikeoldlesbians ... that's funny!)

Which ones do you like?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

ADHD of the Heart

"Hey!" Mustard said as I walked in the door. "I've got a surprise for you."

"Oh goody! I love surprises," I said before remembering that a Mustard-style surprise might be as welcome as a monster zit on your wedding day. "What'd you do? Reprogram the cable box so that every channel shows nothing but Sabado Gigante?"

"No, I didn't. But that's not a bad idea," he said getting that far away look in his eye that I've come to distrust deeply.

"So?" I prompted, "My surprise?"

"Oh riiiiiiiight. THE SURPRISE!" he said, adding with a mischievous little grin, "I've written you a song."

"A song?"

"Yes! A song, a ballad, a little ditty. To cheer your ugly mug up. I'm sort of sorry that online dating was such a bust. You know, as sorry as I get about anything, that is. I know you've been really sad about it."

"No I haven't."

"Uh-huh. You can't lie to me. I know. I have to live with you."

"I'm not lying. Really. I couldn't be happier that I'm done with the online dating. You didn't need to write me a cheer up song."

"Oh, but I did. I really did." When he gets this smug expression, there's no arguing with him. I sighed.

"So do I get to hear it or what? I didn't think you were very musical."

"I have many talents that you don't know anything about," he sniffed. "But I'll admit, I only provided new lyrics to Bonnie Tyler's most excellent Power Ballad, Total Eclipse of the Heart," he said, sinking down onto one knee to pay homage to the 80s classic.

"Put that lighter away before you melt yourself," I said.

"OK. Now, since this is sort of a duet, I'm going to need you to sing the "Turn Around" part. Can you handle that?"

"I think I can probably manage it." I said dryly.

"Great. Instead of saying "Turn Around" you're going to say, "Click Around." Got it?"

"Got it."

"Good," he said, all business. "And I only did one verse and the dramatic middle part - I don't have all day to focus my energy on your stupid problems. Here are the lyrics. Don't mess up."

"Ok. I'll try."

He stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You have to start," he whispered. Oh right. So after a rousing piano intro I started ....

click around
Every now and then you get a little bit lonely and you think you should see who's online
click around
Every now and then you're trolling profiles like a skanky cougar hoochiemama way past her prime
CLICK AROUND!
Every now and then you meet a guy who seems like he's perfect and everything he does looks right
Click around
Every now and then you picture your bright future sharing his kids with him and his shrewish ex-wife
Click AROUND, weird guys(?!)
Every now and then they're freaking tards!
Click around, weird guys
Every now and then they're freaking tards!!

And he's sending you weird texts
And he says you'd look good in leather
And if you'd only agree to be next
He'd buy a wedding dress made of pleather
And in only one date you'd be vexed
But to him that wouldn't matter.
Desperate just to meet you, he'd cross all the state lines
In your heart your sorry cuz he's weird and fifty-nine!
You don't know what to do, he's just so damn bizarre
Does he really think you want to spend your time talkin bout cars?!
You've gotta dump him tonight!
Being single's gonna start tonight!
Being single's gonna start tonight!

Once upon a time you would tolerate fools
Now it seems you don't have the art
Nothing you can do
You've ADHD of the Heart

ADHD of the Heart .... Click around, weird guys .... Click around, weird guys, Click arouuuuund

I hope you imagined him singing it with all of the hand-clasping, dramatic stopping, and knee-drops that belong in a Power Ballad. He did every one of them. It really amped up the emotion.

Gotta hand it to him though, I've got a regular Alan Menken on my hands over here. I know you are all WAY BEYOND jealous.


Friday, December 28, 2007

Watch Out Y'all, I'm about to Get Crafty

I am not a crafty person. I blame this womanly deficiency on a lot of things, but here are the top five:
  1. lack of patience
  2. inability to draw, cut, sew, or walk a straight line
  3. abhorrence of puffy paint and raffia
  4. a nasty childhood encounter involving yarn, popsicle sticks, and glitter glue
  5. unwillingness to contribute to the ugly craft epidemic the world is suffering from
But every once in a while, I need something and I'll think, "I REALLY don't want to buy that!! Maybe I can just make it." You know I'm serious about not purchasing when I'm driven to say that I'd rather MAKE IT! And this is when my Anti-Craftiness and my Cheapness step into the ring to duke it out.

This time, I needed CD sleeves for the boatloads of mix CDs I'm sending out as my lame excuse for a Christmas present.

I had one of those jumbo packs of blank CDs but I did not have the accompanying jumbo pack of jewel cases or equivalent. And I don't mind telling you that I did NOT relish the thought of purchasing one. It's crap like this that it really drives me crazy to buy. I would much rather be spending that 4.99 on something I can really enjoy like a pair of earrings or a Wendy's Single combo meal.

What I needed was a cheap solution and whenever I need cheap solutions I cast my mind back to college when I inexplicably lived like a queen on $300 a month. In college, I had a phase where I refused to purchase envelopes. This was before email, people, when we actually needed envelopes from time to time. So instead of buying envelopes my Sophomore self made them from magazine pages and a roll of tape. It was fun to flip through mags and pick advertisements with interesting images that would add a little extra something to my letter. And I thought, "Voila! What if I make CD sleeves from magazine pages!"

So I did, and they turned out pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Here are the results:


Aren't they cute? Let's take a closer look at a couple of them.

This Dewey Cox ad screams Album Cover to me.



Notice how the title of the story "When Stars Record" looks like the title. PERFECT! By the way, if you've got sharp eyes you might recognize Demetri Martin and David Cross.


This one is Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward ... so suitable for an M. Ward CD don't you think?


Here I added a cute "Hello My Name Is" sticker with the name of the album. But you can just write on it with a Sharpie if you prefer.


I thought this Hershey's one was crazy cute! So good if you're making a "Sorry I'm a loser, let's be friends again" CD.




And just LOOK at how CUTE the CD is peeking up from the top.

I could give you instructions, but basically it comes down to: tear, fold, tape. If you have opposable thumbs you should be able to manage it. I did.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Top 10 Songs of 2007

I love top 10 lists, and I'm sure you all do too. To me they are the best thing about the end of the year. They must be the best thing, because the best thing certainly isn't trying to figure out what to do for New Year's Eve. That's the worst thingl!! Anyway, because you all care SO MUCH about my preferences and opinions I'm sharing my Top 10 songs of 2007.

These aren't necessarily songs that came out in 2007 ... but they are songs that I couldn't get enough of during 2007. And I'd find myself popping them into the CD player over and over again. I've linked to the music whenever I could find it.


10. Paper Planes - by M.I.A. (genre: electronic/dance) This one snuck in right at the end of the year, and actually made a lot of critical lists for top song/album. When it starts you're thinking, "Oh cool, nice Clash sample" and you're cruising along snapping your fingers and doing the White Man's Overbite until SUDDENLY there's an awwwwesome gunshot sample. And then I'm all conflicted because I want to be against gunshots during a song because it's a little too gangsta for me, but DAMN it's catchy. Take a listen and see if you don't agree.

9. Chinese Translation - by M. Ward (genre: sedation rock) If you've got any rage in your life you need to become acquainted with M. Ward. His crooning will sweep all of your troubles right under the rug. One song of his is the equivalent of a 50 CCs of morphine. Chinese Translation kept finding it's way into my earbuds this year since I had a LOT of rage to deal with. Thanks M. Ward for keeping me out of rehab.

8. Sexyback - Justin (i heart you) Timberlake (videolink)(genre: hip hop) I want to bow down before JT and chant "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" Everything he put out this year was excellent. I liked them all. But Sexyback wasn't just a song, it was a revolution. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here.

7. Clumsy - Fergie (videolink)(genre: Pop) Ahh, The Duchess. I liked pretty much everything off of her album, but I've really been into Clumsy. That chorus is just so darn singable! And as a klutz myself, I can really relate to this song. Except for the falling in love part. I usually just fall on the pavement. And the stairs. (As a side Fergie note, there should probably be a countdown of how many times this year I said "So Delicious" a la Fergalicious ... I said it a lot. That Fergie ... she's a trendsetter.)


6. Stronger - Kanye West (genre: hip hop) Ok, Ok. Before you stop reading this list in disgust, let me just put a disclaimer out there. I originally thought this song was by Jay-Z, who I think we can ALL feel good about worshiping as the hip hop god that he is. When I found out that this song was in fact by Kanye I threw up a little bit in my mouth, since I basically hate him. But it was too late ... I was already in love with this song. And can you blame me?? For all of Kanye's "I'm the best artist in the world while simultaneously being the biggest *&%*#bag in the world" ranting, this is a pretty damn good song.

(And ... if you want to feel like you are really un-dexterous and you have 3:44 minutes to spare you should watch this video. But don't watch it if you are already self-conscious about your manual dexterity.)



5. I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance - Black Kids (genre: Alternative/electronic) I haven't quite figured out how all of the gender pronouns fit, but it's catchy and has a great beat. And I like the moral: Don't help competition. It doesn't get you anywhere but home on your couch with a pint of Chunky Monkey and a sappy chick flick DVD. That's a lesson I should have learned about 10 years ago.

4. A Postcard to Nina - Jens Lekman (genre: Alternative) There's something about the Swedes and me this year. I really got into them. And I LOVED this song by Jens Lekman. There's a part right before the chorus where it sounds like everything slips off kilter for a second in a waaaOOOO sound. It's crazy. I love it.

3. The Crane Wife 1 & 2 - The Decemberists (genre: Alternative) Basically, I love everything The Decemberists put out, but I seriously obsessed over this song this year. It combined two things I really have a passion for: folk tales and vocabulary. These guys always use great words to help weave their story-like songs, like palanquin(!), but this song was kicking great words like "fontanelle" and "keening bell". My dictionary got a real workout. It is, in a word, brilliant.

2. Red Rabbits - The Shins (genre: Alternative) From the Wincing the Night Away album, The Shins always put out kooky and catchy songs. But one line in this song kept me coming back for more. "We've pissed off far too many sprites/And they're all standing up for their rights". I just really liked that line.


1. Young Folks - Peter, Bjorn & John (videolink) (genre: Alternative) Feeling a little less than your usual peppy self? Wish you could whistle along to a great rock song? Well, well, Young Folks is the song for YOU! Just throw this song on and before you know it, you're life will basically be awesome. It's just that good.

I hope you enjoyed my list. Let me know what you loved this year! If you post it on your own blog ... send me the link!

More lists to come!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Filipino Thriller

I'm a little behind the times on this ...

But have you heard about or better yet, seen this "Thriller" recreation done by Filipino prison inmates? I just learned about it during Wait, Wait .. Don't Tell Me's Bluff the Listener segment. Mo Rocca did a v. clever and v. funny description of this prisonyard stomp. Starting with "So you think you can shank?" and ending with this Vincent Price-esqe poem:

And though you'd like to be set free
Your body starts to quiver
For no mere inmate can resist
This Filipino Thriller!

Check it:

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Marketplace Lottery

I've just devised a new game for me to play while listening to Marketplace, called The Marketplace Lottery. I've talked about Marketplace quite a bit before, and so if you read this blog at all you know that I'm a major fan. It makes money, markets, and entrepreneurship fascinating to the novice. I've created this new game to help me to pay better attention during my bus commute home, and to test my musical dexterity. It would probably work with most other public radio programs too - so don't feel like you can't play if Marketplace isn't your program of choice.

Here's how to play: Between stories they'll play snips of songs. There are roughly 4-5 songs per episode and the songs almost always relate to the story they follow. For example, a story about a gourmet bakery that specializes in cupcakes would be followed by a song by Cake. A story about viral videos is followed by the song "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. Get it? Sometimes the relationship isn't quite so blatant. One day there was a story about something to do with Sweden, and the song was by Peter Bjorn and John a band from Sweden. Tricky, indeed! (I felt pretty smart when I made that connection, I'll tell you). To up the ante, the song snips don't include lyrics. So you need to know either the title of the song, it's artist, what the song is about, and, as in the case of the Swedes, other relevant facts about the song or artist. It's really quite tough!

You win the Marketplace Lottery if you're able to figure out the relationship between all of the songs and their stories for the entire program.

Prizes include:
1. The knowledge that you are a music and market diva
2. A "Like It" sized strawberry ice cream with brownies mixed in from Cold Stone Creamery
3. A satin sash that says "Marketplace Lotto Queen" and a bouquet of roses to carry as I gracefully descend the bus steps, pausing to blow air kisses to the crowd.

If you play and win - let me know! I'll hand-deliver your satin sash!

What games do you play to spice up your life? (Erin, I know you've got at least one up your sleeve. Little miss "I make faces out of the crazy foot lights on the Metro")

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Play that Psychedelic Organ, White Boy

OK, I'm a fan of The White Stripes. Who isn't these days? But I'm listening to their new single "Icky Thump" and I'm thinking to myself ... "Is this Spinal Tap meets Jethro Tull, with very special guest instrument The Rock Organ?" Quite a different slant than they usually take. During the organ solo in the middle, I keep thinking of that kid Lawrence in School of Rock, jammin on his keyboard.

I'll like it. I think. Take a listen, and see if you agree.

Friday, February 23, 2007

The Incredible Shrinking Mormon World

When the know-it-all 60+ year old man in my Sunday School class started talking about how great the movie New York Doll was, I knew I had to get it in gear and see this movie. Can't have old man winter being more in touch with pop culture than I am.

So I rented the DVD this past weekend. I watched it once and enjoyed it. But only after I got over how completely bizarre Arthur "Killer" Kane was. For most of the movie all I could think was, oh boy, he's that guy. The guy that you talk to because you feel mean not talking to him, but you'd rather be doing something like, oh say, sewing your face to the floor. The take-away of the story is that despite Arthur's wackiness he gets his impossible prayer answered and is reunited with the New York Dolls once more. It's really quite inspirational.

Normally I don't watch the bonus material on DVDs - but since this film was so short and I was bored I started watching the directors interview. I sat there for a second. And then I rewound to the beginning to see that, yes, the director is the same Greg Whiteley I went to school with at BYU. We were in the same ward or some such nonsense. It was surreal watching a movie created by someone I actually knew. Should I let VH1 know that I'm available for interviews of an "I knew him when" ilk? Actually I doubt he'd remember me, since I kept a pretty low profile. But seeing him was a fun throw back to those days of Peter Breinholt and Mamma's Cafe. Ahh - The Good Ole Days.

Naturally, knowing the director made me much more interested in the film. So I watched it a second time. And must say, that even though one viewing is great, it improves upon repetition.

In essence the film did 4 things for me.
  1. It made me feel cool (albeit a bit nostalgic) that I knew someone that had made a movie. (a real movie - not one of those silly Mormon movies. I know lots of those guys. Lincoln Hoppe, you're still my secret crush!)
  2. It inspired me to Google a bunch of old school friends to see if they've done anything notable (thankfully, they're all slackers, just like me).
  3. It made me want to say my prayers, because if it can happen for that guy, it can happen for anyone.
  4. It made me want to buy some New York Dolls music. Those funky fem-bots rock!



The Arcade Fires Me Up

I listen to podcasts each day on my bus commute to and from work. Usually I'm trying to keep up with my NPR Story of the Day and Marketplace reports. Both of which are generally delightful and keep me chock full of useful information. But every couple of weeks or so a new edition of NPR All Songs Considered shows up on my ipod. I also consider ASC to be informational learning - to keep me up to date on the music scene - but February 21st's edition was nothing short of epic indulgence!

What started out as a mysterious intro turned into a live concert (in it's entirety) by Indie-Darlings The Arcade Fire. Lots of excellent tracks, but with a truly amazing version of "Wake Up" performed among the audience. Holy crap - it was so good. Pure giddy joy was virtually bubbling out of me. Since I was on the bus, I had to really monitor the spontaneous singing and dancing reflex - I don't want to be one of those crazy bus ladies. This was the perfect way to start a cold Friday morning, and get me in the mood for what is sure to be an awesome weekend.

The show featured many tracks from their new album - which is in stores soon, thank goodness! But lots of old favorites from Funeral. Plus, I'll probably never get to see them live, so this is a good alternative. One of my favorite things about this band is their clever lyrics and images. For example, love this image: "So the neighbors can dance in the police disco lights". I sing this line every time I see the cops.

Thank you All Songs Considered! This is now officially a Good Day.