Monday, May 25, 2009

As Seen In My Travels

One thing you may not know about me is that these days I spend all of my work travel time in a small middle-of-nowhere town in Kentucky. It's a nice little town and the parts not covered in fast food restaurants and bait shops is very quaint.

Quaintness should not be confused for interestingness, or bizarreness, or oddness. All in all it's kind of a bland place. Not that that's a bad thing. I've come to grips with the fact that I'm not likely to see a man in a pink sweatsuit with a pink sparkle scarf and pink platform heels strolling down Main Street as I so often do at home. I was prepared to think that fourteen antenaes stuck to the top of a truck was the height of crazy around these parts. Or so I thought.

Apparently, Kentucky likes to keep their interestingly bizarre oddities out of the city limits and on the shoulder of deserted windey mountain freeways.

Friday afternoon I was driving to the airport through the KY mountains --

just to be clear, I'm calling them mountains because they are large hills that the rented Ford Focus struggled to go up and down; but am not to confusing them with REAL mountains that would turn that Ford Focus back to the flatlands of Kansas in tears

-- when I crested a hill and BEHOLD! there, on the other side of the road stood a man in a Gorilla suit holding a sign that said "Monkey Love" in big red lettering.

What the Whaaa?

I looked about to see if there was a pet store or strip club or something he was promoting; no, nothing but trees and fake mountains as far as the eye could see.

I looked to see if he was hitchhiking; no, there was no monkey thumb or destination written on that Monkey Love sign. And what kind of person would pick up someone wearing a gorilla suit? That's a slasher movie waiting to happen!

I looked to see if there was any explanation at all why someone would be in a gorilla suit at 3 o'clock on a Friday afternoon in the middle of the nowheresville Kentucky mountains. As far as I could see there was none.

But that didn't make it any less awesome! And I tipped my cap to Kentucky for showing me that I should not just assume it's brand of wackos is any less ostentatious than those I am used to dealing with in DC. Well played, Kentucky. Well played.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Another Voice Mail From My Dad

Speaking of tightwad skinflints, your name came right to the top!

Have you noticed that if you go to your computer and type Oprah slash KFC and print you a coupon for a Free Kentucky Fried meal you get TWO pieces of grilled chicken TWO individual sides and a biscuit for NOTHING ... WITH JUST THAT COUPON????!?

I thought you'd like that.


Am I a lucky daughter or what? My Dad really knows what makes my day! I will do just about anything for free food. Free Scoop Day at B&J's? There. Free Slurpee Day at 7-11? There. Flap-jack Friday Free Breakfast? TOTALLY THERE!

NB: word on the street is that this is one of those limited time thingies.

PS and PNB: It was kind of a shizzy day with the rain and the traffic and the practically passing out on the treadmill. This voicemail was a real beacon of joy in the otherwise miserable news my blackberry has been passing along all day. Thanks Pop! And Thanks Oprah slash KFC!