Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dynamite Hack

Some of you might think that I am advocating hemorrhoid medicine all of the sudden. But it's not true. I don't care if you have hemorrhoids. And I certainly don't care how you treat them.

However, my email seems to think that everyone I know wants hemorrhoid medicine, or to know how to live without eczema, or to feel the energy of man power. And so I spammed you. Accidentally. Or on purpose if your the bastard that hacked my account and sent out random emails.

The up side of this was that I got a lot of nice emails back from people I haven't spoken to for a while. I also got a couple of dinner invites out of the deal. Saaweeeeet!

But the best part about the whole thing was the response I got back from my realtor. She's the sweetest lady, but this response to "my" email is hilarious.

"My" email:
Forget about hemorrhoids! . http://bigfakeaddress.com

Her reply:
That is great! Nice to hear from you!!!


Homework

With all of my free time I'm trying to do a little creative writing. Nothing y'all are ever going to get to see, but just greasing the old wheels. Anyway, this writing book says that at the end of each day I'm supposed to write down what was worth writing about today. So, since I need to blog and the muse isn't striking me - you're going to get my homework.

1. I had a serious case of the Mondays today, which is a bummer since it's a Tuesday. I was dreading, dreading, DREADING going to work. But I drug myself there, and much to my surprise, when I actually looked at what I had on my calendar it actually turned out to be a pretty light and relatively easy day. I used up all that dreading for nothing.

2. I'm back on my diet of fruit smoothie for breakfast, salads for lunch and shrimp/mango/avocado tacos for dinner. I love that diet - it's delicious and has like 14 calories. Not like the Burger King I ate yesterday. They post the calories on the fast food signs in California (where I was yesterday) and let me tell you those numbers made me want to binge and purge right there on the linoleum.

3. I watched Raising Hope tonight. I don't watch TV much anymore, and boy oh boy that show is hilarious. My favorite part of the episode was when Bert called yoga "Slow Karate." Awesome.

4. All day I've been thinking of this quote from the book Please Ignore Vera Dietz: "All his theme songs are in minor chords." Love. That.

Perhaps not much really worth writing about today .... but I'm just doing as I'm told.