Monday, September 15, 2008

The Pie Hole

Welcome, One! Welcome, All! To our brand new apartment in beautiful, historic Capitol Hill. After examining the features, we have christened it The Pie Hole.

J'taime The Pie Hole!

Let me explain. Our fab apartment makes up the top two floors of a row house. The house itself bends around the corner of North Carolina Ave, onto A street. The result is our apartment ends up being shaped like a slice of pie. Wider at the front of the house, and narrowing to a point at the back. Its kinda like a double-decker slice of pie. To add to the "pie" effect, the floors also slope slightly toward the back of the house. It is pie-like is every way. So of course, that means I LOVE it.

It is also, really old (hellllooo, Historic District? show some respect here, you young whippersnappers!). And a rental. With an absentee landlord. Which makes it just the eensiest bit of a hole. I can't really blame it. I mean, who among us couldn't use 10 grand worth of work done? (rhinoplasty anyone?) But, even without major surgery, its quite amazing what you can do with a Magic Eraser, some contact paper, and a coat of paint. Really quite amazing!

The Pie Hole never met an angle it didn't like. Except that fuddy duddy, Right Angle. Talk about a Par-tay Pooper!! The Pie Hole was right not to let lame-o Right Angle show his boring face anywhere in the whole house. Instead, we get the excitement of those wacky brothers Acute and Obtuse. They are so much fun!! Decorating is like super, duper, SUPER exciting. Camie (our resident interior designer) is really getting to flex her designer muscles!

Ok, so are you ready for a tour? YAY!! A Tour!

After coming in and up the first flight of stairs, you enter the The Living Room (Pie Crust view):

Features include:
  • Bay window
  • Hard wood floors throughout house
  • Built in wainscoating ledge (7" deep)

The Living Room, other direction (Fruit Filled Center view):

  • Fireplace
  • Stairwell from entry way below
  • Ample Sculptural art display area on top of stairwell.

The Kitchen:

  • Cabinets, Cabinets, CABINETS!!!
  • Pretty great view out to the cute backyards of our neighbors
  • Good appliances (fridge keeps food cold, Oven is great, dishwasher cleans dishes!! electric stove - eh, when you can't have gas, electric will do.)

The owner has an odd love affair with spherical sconces. They are in the oddest places, such as this one here:

It has been removed, because it is WAY ugly. And was totally blinding.

Twisty stairway up to the second level:

  • Butt-firming workout

Back bedroom:

  • Great pie-tip angle making bed placement really ... um ... exciting!
  • Huge windows perfect for hauling a box spring through
  • Very nicely sized closet


  • BIG mirror to match my BIG ego
  • Great shower with amazing water pressure and lots of heat
  • Lots of storage space under that huuuuge counter for our ribbons and bows

Front Bedroom (Window View, not such a great picture):

  • Two good sized closets
  • Some of that nice ledge/wainscoating we saw from the living room
  • A bay window
  • TWELVE foot ceilings
  • Very good sized, and chock full of my new besties Acute and Obtuse
And that's it. That's the tour. Don't you just love The Pie Hole!? I do. I Heart it with my whole Pie Loving Heart.

It only makes it that much more loveable that I walked to the Eastern Market (DC's premier outdoor market) on Saturday to buy all kinds of delicious local fruit and veg that I promptly cooked up into some really yummy salad and soup. And tonight I ran laps around Lincoln Park while checking out all of the eye candy who were ALSO running laps. So it's super cute and super fun. But it's also totally going to make me eat better, buy local, hang out with my neighbors, get all skinny, and meet some hot jogger boyfriend. The Pie Hole will make all of my dreams come true. Just you wait and see.


betsey said...


The place looks great! I'm hoping I can see it in person! I'm going to be in D.C. from September 27-29th (I think those are the dates) visiting a friend from grad school who also lives near Eastern Market. Any chance we can get together? Shoot me an email or comment on my blog!

Camie said...

I think you may have forgotten to mention the w/d combo in your bedroom. Hello. P.S. I love the pie hole.

holly said...

that is the coolest pie house I've ever toured... virtually! love the name. love the details. oooh, what a find!

forget the clothes dryer. with those 12 foot ceilings you can totally hop on the eat local/be green bandwagon and "air" your laundry with one of these almost vintage contraptions straight from the UK. oh yeah.

holly said...

PS I'm sure the place was most recently updated in 1968 because that bathroom looks exactly like the one in our rancher out here: square chrome towel racks, mile long counter and ginormous mirror with little clear plastic covered screws. at least it's white instead of beige or blue...

erinmalia said...

can't wait to visit. and you weren't kidding about angles. that place is nutty about them.

i love that the oven is off the back breaking with all your baking!

and i thought pedro was supposed to make all your wildest dreams come true?

bethany said...

I am tres jealous Gretchen! Perhaps if you are lucky you will find a Ned of your own. It looks fabulous, I hope we get an update after it is all decorated!

Anonymous said...

Seriously. This is NOT an apartment in D.C. It's too spacious, too nice, too perfect.

Way to go! FInd me one.

Holly said...

Tell mustard to watch his language!!!!!! Ü
I miss your hair and you. I am so glad that you and Cami are roomin'!! The place is SO cool!!! I like your name for the place. Hey, I need your email again, do you still have mine? I have a writing question for you when you have a second (I know things are crazy right now). Have a great day!!

JenAve said...

Fabulous! It looks great!

Amanda L. said...

I love pie. Your apartment is nice too :) Did you know that I can't think of a type of pie I DON'T like?
Loved the tour. Sounds like you've got a "sweet" setup! (get pie......yeah.)

Fecture T. Mice said...

Look! I got my own account now!