So Pizza Friday was the best!! It was easily the coolest perk of the entire company. Every other Friday they'd bring pizza in for the whole office. This was a highly ritualized experience, and May the Hammer of Thor protect you if you dared to break the rules, which are these:
- Line up OUTSIDE of the break room until all of the pizzas and sodas have arrived and have been arranged.
- DO NOT enter the break room until the Official Go Ahead has been given.
- DO NOT schedule the large conference room during Pizza Friday time thereby causing everyone to have to eat at their desk and be lame.
- Bring your most outlandish stories and Office Space quotes to make the dining experience more fun.
- No one invite HR or any Execs to eat in the conference room so we can complain at length and talk about how hung over everyone is.
So on my last Pizza Friday, I was all set to follow the time honored tradition of lining up and policing the break room door for any wise guys who thought they could sneak in early, when my pal Corey told me I needed to go to the Front Lobby. I was like, "Um, Corey, the pizza is in HERE!" and he was like, "Zip it Girlfriend and come with me to the lobby."
So we went up there. And that's where he unveiled a pizza just for me with a giant G spelled out with pepperoni. It was a sublime moment in my life.
So of course, being the spaz that I am, I squealed like a school girl, and jumped around a little bit. Only to turn around and see every member of the Executive group shooting lasers at me through the glass wall of the Front conference room. Unbeknownst to me they were having some kind of fancy-pants conference call in there.
Whoops! Typical moi, looking classy at every opportunity.
Apparently they didn't think that a G Pizza is worth screaming about. I happen to think they're wrong. Tis but one of the differences between me and executives.