Thursday, February 9, 2012

Big Ideas While Going Down

Yesterday I rounded the corner to the elevator bank and one of my new co-workers was already there waiting to go down. I'm new and don't know my co-workers yet, so it would have been perfectly normal to introduce myself or something. But I was struck by a sudden fit of shyness and we rode down the ten floors in silent awkwardness. The silence belied my inner turmoil over the event.

You lucky people are getting a peek behind the curtain at the rough transcript of my inner monologue:

10th floor - I should introduce myself and make some cheesy small talk

9th floor - Although I don't know why I should have to. I'm the newbie around here. He should be trying to make ME feel comfortable.

8th floor - It's almost too late now. If I said something now, it'd just be way too weird ..... This is awkward.

7th floor - If only I didn't get randomly shy like this. Why do I do this? It's like a personality land mine. I never know when it's going to strike.

6th floor - I ask you!? Is there anything more awkward than riding in silence with a semi-stranger in an elevator? I don't even have my phone. This is torture. TORTURE!!

5th floor - I should have just said hi. What's so hard about saying hi? Sheesh! I wish there was a pill I could take that would change annoying personality traits, like random bouts of shyness that make it impossible to talk to strangers in elevators. That'd sure be handy right about now.

4th floor - Hey, wait! That's a pretty good idea. Why hasn't anyone invented this yet? How great would it be to have a pill that you could take that would make you want to talk to elevator people?

3rd floor - Pretty damn great. Maybe a drug is a little much ... but a vitamin! It could be a vitamin

2nd floor - Oh, I like that. An "I Like to Talk to Strangers" Vitamin. There'd be a huge market for that! And you could have a whole line of personality vitamins. Flirty vitamins ... Confidence vitamins, .... Bravery vitamins

1st floor - I really can't believe someone hasn't developed this! What the hell do scientists do all day anyway?

Speedwalking away from my coworker across the Lobby - Oh wait. They might already have it. They call it Vodka. Shit.

1 comment:

aje and h said...

so your next post will ironically share the inner dialogue of the moments between being asked out by said co-worker and your answer ;) somedays a little vodka would fix my life. just saying...