Sunday, March 16, 2008

Wherin I Beware The Ides of March

Last Monday night I was at the gym busy getting my butt kicked by a set of Karate Kid Squats when I looked over and made eye contact with someone I thought I recognized. But I wasn't quite sure. It could have been an ex-coworker who had had a raging crush on me a couple of years ago. But it might not have been. I knew I had to tread lightly before making a positive ID. After two more sets, when I caught him sneaking a few glances at me, I decided it must be him.

Deciding that dodging him would be stupid I approached him, confirmed his identity, and proceeded with all of the "so where are you working now" chatter. About 35 seconds later I remembered why I didn't return his crush oh so many years ago when we worked together. He's a super nice guy, but super, super, SUPER shy. So shy it makes it practically impossible to get any interesting conversation out of him at all. I'm just not patient enough to sit there and wait for him to build up the courage to ask me if I still live in the same place. It takes a little more razzle-dazzle to get my interest.

Now seems like a good time for the high-level history of our acquaintance:
  • We worked at the same company for about a year
  • Every two weeks during that year, he'd come by my cube, and stand there and blush while trying to think of something to say.
  • He brought me a mug from Las Vegas.
  • We never made it past the chit-chat stage.
  • Then one day, we both happened to be walking out of the building at the same time, and when it came time to part ways, he called me back and finally built up the courage to ask me out.
  • Still not interested, but I couldn't in good conscience crush what had obviously been a huge win against his shyness.
  • I said yes.
  • But then I re-planned the date he had planned so that it would be more convenient for me. (I'm super nice that way, eh?)
The date wasn't so bad ... just painful to make conversation. Afterwards he called me a couple of times, and left some messages. But then he changed jobs, and I was happy to let it all just slip into the woodwork of my dating life.

So ... after our accidental meeting at the gym, I wasn't too surprised to get a text from him asking me out again for this Saturday. I'm trying to be more open minded about dating. You know, what with the online dating thing and all. I figure my elitist attitude hasn't gotten me very far. So I agreed to go out.

But I reserved the right to not be very excited to go. And I actually hoped it would be a disaster so I'd have a great Beware the Ides of March story to tell you guys. (I'm all about the bad date story, you know. It's really the main reason I agree to do this kind of thing).

Imagine my surprise when we had a really nice time! And while the conversation could never be described as "bubbly" or "exciting" it was steady and somewhat interesting. And when I found myself sitting quietly in his car as we drove home in a very comfortable silence, I thought, "The fact that I had a pretty nice time might be more unnerving than if this had been a complete disaster."

Beware the Ides of March, indeed.


Miss Hass said...

Gah! Sometimes I hate it when things go well when you're expecting them to go badly. At least it wasn't pure torture, though... Hooray for making progress!

Kevin said...

Good for you! Be nice to the shy guys!

erin said...

the fact that you didn't fake-fall-asleep in the car on the way home does say something!

Daniel said...

I agree with Kevin. I add this... call him out on being too shy. Do it politely, but do it. If there is one thing that he knows more than anything, it's how shy he is. By doing this it may actually help to open him up. He now has something to talk about that he knows everything that there is to know about. That or he'll clam up even worse than ever before and he'll run home with his tail between his legs and you won't have to worry about having a good time with him ever again. That's my 2 Cents

Salt H2O said...

Congrats on going out with him in the first place! That's huge, I'm impressed.

My thought is when one opens themselves up to giving everyone a chance (within reason) it permits God to put the person that will make us the happiest in our paths.

Very often our own ideas of what might make us happy interfear with God's knowlege of what will make us happy. (ie..we have a certain 'type')