Vocab

I just learned two new vocabulary words that are so awesome they will definitely be making regular appearances in my regular speech.


Mandals : Sandals for men.

Used in a sentence:

Jorge, it may be open season on mandals, but don't even think about wearing them until you get your scaggy feet pedicured.

Sweatsedo : The fanciest and tuxedoy-est of all sweat suits.

Used in a sentence:

Armand are you wearing your sweatsedo for the apartment-complex-championship badmitton finals? You should.

Verbal Suicide

In my opinion (which is the only opinion that matters in my opinion) there are some words or phrases that are so loaded with social unacceptability and uncoolness that uttering them is the same as committing verbal suicide. And if you say them in my hearing or even worse to my face (!) my hands are tied, and you are DEAD TO ME.

So Please, for your edification, a short selection from the Kamikaze Dictionary:

• Referring to something as "a choice experience"
• Honest to Gosh
• Cool Beans!!!!!!!

For the love of Merriam Webster, use this list with care (aka, never). Once you are dead to me, it will take some serious acts of coolness (or gifts of cashmere) to become undead.

(By the way, it also really bothers me when people say "anywho" or "anyways" with an S ... ugh and shudder ... but doing that doesn't quite equal verbal suicide. It's more like being maimed with a steak knife. Horrible. So horrible. And I basically don't want to be anywhere around you or know you at all. It's a fine, fine line.)

Do you guys feel this way too? Or am I the most shallow person in the room?

Watch Out Persimmon

My favorite word is persimmon. I love to say it. Persimmon, persimmon, persimmon.

It has been my favorite word for years now, and I don't keep a favorite anything for more than a few hours. So that tells you how much I love the word persimmon.

But a new contender just entered the ring. May I introduce to you:

Fissiparous

It is pronounced just like it's spelled: fih-SIP-uh-rus. Isn't it delightful to say? Fissiparous.

And it has a great meaning! "Tending to break into parts; divisive" ooooo! Can't you just see using that word and amazing the mere mortals around you?

"Fissiparous behavior was their downfall."

I can't wait to put this new linguistic treasure to work. Persimmon, being a fruit or sometimes a color, doesn't get much action as I conduct my daily business. Fissiparous, however, is a word that could get some real play time. How often do I talk about things dividing or breaking into parts? Answer: ALWAYS.

Persimmon, I'll always love you, but you're officially on notice. Fissiparous is younger, sexier, and I think comes with a convertible.