Friday, April 25, 2008

What the Credit Card Company Giveth ...

The other day I got a single piece of mail in my mailbox. Normally, I wouldn't bother opening what was clearly an annoying mailer from my credit card company, but I was bored during the elevator ride upstairs so I opened 'er up.

Instead of the useless offer I was expecting I saw this American Dream crushing statement.

A few months ago we increased your credit limit because you are such a good customer. But since you haven't used the increase we assume you don't need it and so we are decreasing it again.

Upon reading this, this is what my face was saying: !&!^(#)!!

And this is what my mouth was saying: !&!^(#)!!

And no. I don't need a crazy high credit limit. BUT I WANT ONE!!! It makes my credit score better (at least according to Suze Orman, and she'd know more about that than I do). AND I can pretend to be a playa much better when I can throw down the plastique with confidence. But more importantly, I don't want them making arbitrary decisions for me based on what they think I need. How do they know that THIS isn't the month that I finally buy that speedboat I've been eyeing? They might think they are omniscient, but hey, newsflash credit card dudes, you're not.

Plus, isn't the whole point of being a good consumer to get good credit and be eligible for a high credit limit? It's like the best financial thing I've got going for me ... and they think they can take it away just like that? Harsh. Way harsh.

Obviously, this deserved a call to the Customer Service Center. Who promptly did nothing for me. They didn't even give me a good excuse like saying that they aren't interested in supporting people who pay their balance monthly and are therefore deadweight to their money grubbing business strategies. Nope, all they could say was that they might review it again in the future. To which I said, "Well, I am VERY DISPLEASED. And I will NOT be encouraging others to get one of your cards, jackasses."

And then I hung up and while still in a fury, promptly requested a copy of my credit report - just to see if there was something that they knew that I didn't know. If their meddling had caused any dings I would have been SERIOUSLY displeased. Luckily for them, my score was higher than ever. So suck on that, you sucking jerkface suckers.

The moral of this story is that if someone is willing to give you something you better use every last bit of it immediately or else it will be taken away. Silly things like responsibility and prudence are so passé. These days its all about Greed, baby, Greed!

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