George, Michael Update

I was hoping that Mike George would be long gone by now. But he's still there on the fringes. It should be noted, that I think I've ignored him enough to dissuade him from asking me out anymore. After he called me (leaving more rambling 4 minute messages) on Christmas Eve and my birthday, I've considered him a Holiday Ruiner. And as such, I should not even mildly tolerate him.

But he's still my Home Teacher, which means that I have to deal with him. This is an email he sent to me to try and set up Home Teaching. NB: If, you don't know what home teaching is - it's an LDS calling that all members have where two men visit families (or in my case - me) once a month and make sure that I'm doing ok. Traditionally, they share a short message (from the First Presidency), make sure I'm not living in squalor, ask if I need anything - to which I say "no, thanks for asking" and they get out. Everybody's happy! It should also be noted, that after I got the email below I had to explain to him, in no uncertain terms, that there should be no diverting from the standard formula (that is, if he absolutely had to do something). Sometimes I wish I could opt out of Home Teaching.

If you can't understand much of this email, that's ok. I think it's written in Middle English.
Mike Says,
"Sister Hanson,
Hello, am finally getting to my email's of the week - its now Friday at 7PM and when I was given my 2 home teaching assignments, was told to use the missionaries when going to a members home. So I do not have anyone as a companion. As I know little of yourself and know not what you would want in a direction that a home teacher could bring to expand your knowledge, this is what I would like to learn from you, if possible. Yes I could present the first president's message but I would hope that you have already read it. As an example when an article in the ENSIGN touches thy heart and if you would like to say so, we can then go over that article. Are you reading something special that has made you ponder it over and over AND if you would like to talk about it - Well!

Saturday will see me in the library doing homework and I will check email and will look for your answer, or Sunday. Till then Mike G."

Speechless? Yeah, me too. Who says "thy" for Pete's Sake? (Apparently Mike does, because this is exactly how he speaks - I can just see him doing a little George Bushy thumbs up there toward the end. Ugh!) Perhaps if he doth not desist in troubling me, I shouldst get myself to a nunnery!

It's emails like this that make me think that I don't have a very good imagination, because you can't make stuff like this up.