Monday, November 5, 2007

The Ballad of Captain Underpants

It occurs to me that, even though I've referred to Captain Underpants before, I haven't actually filled you in on how he got this name.

The Cap’n is a nice guy. Despite the fact that he’s not my brand of nice, he really is very nice. So I feel a teensy bit bad saying that I find him annoying, but if he weren’t so rigid I think we’d get along better. But he is way too uptight. Seriously, the dude is a diamond factory. Perhaps I should illustrate:

At dinner on our first date: “Would you like to get an appetizer? I generally don’t get appetizers, but today I feel like splurging.”

At an outdoor picnic type event he pulls paper cups and a bottle of grape seltzer water out of his backpack, he said with complete sincerity: “Sometimes when I’m feeling adventurous I like to mix this with regular grape juice.” To which I replied, “You’re a wild man.”

In an email received before going to a sporting event: “I should probably warn you that there are some security restrictions at RFK. They won't allow you to take a backpack or large bag into the stadium, or any food or drink.” And he included the link to the rules, in case I didn't believe him. I wanted to tell him that I’ve been to public events before, but instead I told him I’d leave my duffle bag full of hoagies at home.

There are many things he does which, if I liked him, I’d find him very charming. But since I don’t like him, I find him very annoying. Things like sending me Dilbert comics or … um … well, that’s probably it.

So it was at this picnic type event that the Cap’n got his name. [FYI, I generally nickname all of the chaps I date, or people that speak in church, or ride with me on the Metro … it’s more fun that way, and I can talk about them in code.] The Cap’n was standing up stretching, and I was sitting down in a chair, and as I looked to my left I saw distinctly that he had tucked his shirt – HIS T-SHIRT, not his undershirt, but his T-Shirt INTO his underwear. All the way around.

T-Shirt … Underwear Band … Shorts

And I sighed and said to myself, "I am an attractive, fun, intelligent girl and THIS, seriously THIS?!? is what I have to deal with? ” And I shook my fist at the sky before resigning myself, rolling my eyes, and sighing again.

And thus he was dubbed Captain Underpants.


recovering overachiever said...

I think I'd find him mildly annoying too.

soundofstilhed said...

You're a wild man??? That is out of control!!! I know I say "out of control" a bit too often, but REALLY! REALLY? Come on now Cptn. Underpants!

Leslie said...

surely you jest.

and i love your new profile picture or that picture where your profile picture should be.

lael said...

Gasp. I'm someone you've spoken with at church. Pray you have no secret moniker for you???