Monday, February 4, 2008

Rock That Coogi White Boy

"Ladies, don't startle the Coogi."

This is a Coogi Sweater (pronounced Koo-Gee, yo). The most interesting thing about a Coogi Sweater, and this my stylish coworker can attest to, is that Coogis are only appreciated by African-American people. He has received exactly 3 compliments on this sweater, all from black folks. (Let it be noted that he has received in excess of 3 cries of horror, all from me.) Whitey has no love for the Coogi, it seems.

This is a true phenomenon. Even as this picture was being taken and I was in the middle of giving him crap about how horrible it was, and how it could only be more horrible if he'd coupled it with a mock turtleneck and brown braided belt (aka The Trifecta), when one of our black co-workers happened by and said in all seriousness, "Man, That is a NICE sweater!" (They said some more stuff, like "lord, chile" but it sounds way too racist to actually type out. Even though it's the truth.) I was glad to be there in person when the Coogi was complimented, because frankly I thought he was lying that anyone had taken time out of their day to bestow a kind word about this sweater. I had the distinct feeling that I was witnessing a once in a lifetime experience like Haley's Comet, or a spiral perm that turned out good.

So you know, if you want to look all Fly a Coogi is a good place to start. But since real Coogi Sweaters can be pretty expensive I suggest just making your own. It's easy! First collect the dryer lint from all of the dryers in a high rise ghetto apartment building for a month or so. Once you have a sizeable wad, wrap the dryer lint strategically with fishing line. Then set it below a heat lap until it fuses together into a giant pelt. Then you will have the material from which a Coogi Sweater can be constructed. Once you've cut out the pieces and stitched it together, you'll be ready to roll in style, yo.

Just be prepared for an onslaught of compliments from all the brothas from another motha.


erin said...

holy moly, it looks like something ETL would wear. it is simply hideous.

your very white girlfriend.

Camie said...

I am applauding right now. Those sweaters always remind me of Bill Cosby.

Ruth & Ryan said...

I'm with Camie. I always picture Bill Cosby in his array of Coogi sweaters. That is a new term for me by the way. I always called them the ugly 80's multicolered sweaters. I have learned something today.

Formerly known as crackhead said...

I don't think you should protect him with the blackened eyes. I'm all for outing the offender. It's for his own good. He's been dressing that way for years.

Nikko said...

Ya'll crazy, a coogi sweater is definately tight. As a matter of fact, I just posted about the beauty of the sweater at my blog:

The ironic thing about this unfortunately, is the fact that I am black; so I guess I'm just proving your point.