I think I'm pretty damn entertaining. As a matter of fact, I think I'm one of the most entertaining people I know. In idle moments I'll think about funny things I've said or done, and it makes me think, "Gosh! I'm just so darn entertaining! How lucky I am that I can be constantly entertained by ME!" And then I read my blog entries over and over and revel in my entertainingness.
But let's not make this about me. For a brief moment in my selfish life, let's look to others who also entertain me. Of course there are the professional entertainers - can't get enough of Demitri Martin, for example. But looking closer to home, my little brother Derek is a terribly entertaining fellow. His antics put me to shame! I don't get to see or hear nearly enough from him since he lives in Portland OR and hasn't been able to master the concept of time zones. But when I do there's sure to be some jewel of entertainment, such as:
Why do cancer kids always have names like "Landon"? It's like cursing your kid to have cancer if you name him something like that.
or
Hey! I'm glad your coming out because I sold you to one of the Mexican prep cooks at work. I figured you would fetch the highest price because of your bilingual abilities. It will be cool. Cruz is his name and he is about 4 feet tall and he works out. He has a little bit of a temper, but I am sure you could tame him.
The kid makes me laugh full-belly laughs. So I'm glad there are other entertaining people in this world that I can look to in case I ever tire of looking at myself. (Don't be a hater, that might happen. One day.)
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Serial Barfer
On my walk yesterday from the Bethesda Library to my office (about 5 blocks) I noticed three blobs of nasty on the sidewalk that looked suspiciously like throw up. Of course I didn't inspect them closely, so I can't be sure. But that's what it looked like to me, and based on the comments of those around me, that's what it looked like to them.
I was surprised to see three blobs. All similar in color and content (again without really looking too closely). Three seems like a lot. Especially in one short walk along Bethesda Avenue.
This morning on my walk from the Metro to the office there was another one! Again, similar color and content. Of course, given the frequency and similarity of the sightings this can mean only one thing: There's a serial barfer loose in Bethesda!
Bethesdans, in light of this crisis, you should consider wearing goulashes until this foolio gets himself a bottle of Pepto and stops littering our streets with land mines of yucky.
(Consider this a Public Service Announcement. Too bad I don't need to do any community service, this would totally count.)
I was surprised to see three blobs. All similar in color and content (again without really looking too closely). Three seems like a lot. Especially in one short walk along Bethesda Avenue.
This morning on my walk from the Metro to the office there was another one! Again, similar color and content. Of course, given the frequency and similarity of the sightings this can mean only one thing: There's a serial barfer loose in Bethesda!
Bethesdans, in light of this crisis, you should consider wearing goulashes until this foolio gets himself a bottle of Pepto and stops littering our streets with land mines of yucky.
(Consider this a Public Service Announcement. Too bad I don't need to do any community service, this would totally count.)
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Grammar Peeve
While busing to work I love to read the BlogLog in the Washington Post's Express magazine. Today they had a grammar peeve about the sentence "I'm doing good." I'd like to give a hearty "hell yeah" to that, and add my own grammar peeve.
I absolutely cannot stand it when people say "Where are you at?" Even worse is the ghettified "Where you at?" I have heart palpitations whenever those ridiculous Verizon walkie-talkie commercials air. They say "Where you at" about 86 times in 30 seconds. Torture, I tell you. Torture.
I know that my grammar isn't 100% perfect all of the time. So there's a little he-who-is-without-sin-cast-the-first-stone going on here - but COME On. Can we just, for the sake of humanity and my nerves leave that little "at" off? "Where are you?" is sufficient.
Thank you for your support. In return, tell me your grammar peeve and I'll try to accommodate.
I absolutely cannot stand it when people say "Where are you at?" Even worse is the ghettified "Where you at?" I have heart palpitations whenever those ridiculous Verizon walkie-talkie commercials air. They say "Where you at" about 86 times in 30 seconds. Torture, I tell you. Torture.
I know that my grammar isn't 100% perfect all of the time. So there's a little he-who-is-without-sin-cast-the-first-stone going on here - but COME On. Can we just, for the sake of humanity and my nerves leave that little "at" off? "Where are you?" is sufficient.
Thank you for your support. In return, tell me your grammar peeve and I'll try to accommodate.
Academy Award of Water
AquaDeco crushed the competition for the best packaging at the Berkeley Springs Water Tasting competition. Its hard to tell from this picture, but the bottle to the left is sitting on a stainless steel stand that lights the bottle with pale blue light. To the left is the velvet bag the bottle comes in. The Armenian producers only brought about 12 bottles, all of which were given to judges or other dignitaries before the Water Rush.
Interesting story about this water. Apparently, the bottles are manufactured in Italy. The water is from one of the mountains Moses ascended. I'm not sure which one, but they should pick another spring because it's pretty disgusting.
Disgusting water or not, this bottle was the ultimate status symbol of the night. I will not be surprised if recipients of the Aquadeco bottle have it installed as a hood ornament.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Water Water Everywhere
Saturday morning I got out of bed extra early to drive to Berkeley Spring, West Virgina to participate in the 17th Annual International Water Tasting Festival. After a day of sipping municipal, purified, still, and sparkling, I'll never think of water the same way again!
Submissions from all over the world were divided into 4 categories: municipal (aka tap water), purified drinking, bottled non-carbonated, and carbonated. A panel of 12 journalist judges compared the water based on 4 areas: smell, mouth-feel, clarity, and taste. While the judges were doing their thing, everyone in the audience got to make judgments of their own.
This is the Municipal water table. Entries were submitted in everything from old hooch jugs to pickle jars. There were mostly American and Canadian waters. Some were great - clean, crisp, no aftertaste - some were not so great. The Canadian waters were all very tasty! Of course Colorado water was also delish! Outter Banks and Los Angeles water was a bit chewy. But no surprise there, eh! Municipals were good to start with because the differences between them were varied. It was easy to recognize the four judgment areas, and apply them later with the more subtly nuanced bottled water.
After the Municipals everyone ajourned for the dinner break and came back wearing evening wear. I felt significantly underdressed in a cashmere sweater and jeans. Arthur Von Weisenberger, master of waters, was decked out in a tuxedo. This was serious business! We tasted the still and sparkling waters and picked out our favorites. And then it was time for the awards. While we waited for the awards to be tallied and announced I strategized for the Water Rush. About 500 bottles of water were available for the taking, but with a limited number of my favorite bottles I had to create alliances.
The water was around two columns, as seen above, and I was sitting on the front row smack dab in the center. I enlisted my friend Mery to hit the smaller right column, while I pillaged the other. The left column was larger, and so I made a similar deal with my neighbor to the left. We'd swap booty afterwards and made sure that everyone got what they wanted. This was all out war, and pushing and shoving weren't below the belt. At the end of the day, I had a backpack and a box jam packed with 35 bottles of water. And practically every one has a story or something special about it that will make it hard to drink.
While a little odd, this was one of the funnest events I've ever attended. The people were a little quirky - but everyone was open and friendly. It was refreshing to meet so many unpretentious and down-to-earth people. This is the kind of festival where people come year after year - comparing photos of their kids along with memories of stand out waters from years past. First timers seemed a little unsure at first, but by the end were laughing and chatting with new friends and vowing to attend every year. The entire event was a hoot!
I plan on going back every year.
Submissions from all over the world were divided into 4 categories: municipal (aka tap water), purified drinking, bottled non-carbonated, and carbonated. A panel of 12 journalist judges compared the water based on 4 areas: smell, mouth-feel, clarity, and taste. While the judges were doing their thing, everyone in the audience got to make judgments of their own.
This is the Municipal water table. Entries were submitted in everything from old hooch jugs to pickle jars. There were mostly American and Canadian waters. Some were great - clean, crisp, no aftertaste - some were not so great. The Canadian waters were all very tasty! Of course Colorado water was also delish! Outter Banks and Los Angeles water was a bit chewy. But no surprise there, eh! Municipals were good to start with because the differences between them were varied. It was easy to recognize the four judgment areas, and apply them later with the more subtly nuanced bottled water.
After the Municipals everyone ajourned for the dinner break and came back wearing evening wear. I felt significantly underdressed in a cashmere sweater and jeans. Arthur Von Weisenberger, master of waters, was decked out in a tuxedo. This was serious business! We tasted the still and sparkling waters and picked out our favorites. And then it was time for the awards. While we waited for the awards to be tallied and announced I strategized for the Water Rush. About 500 bottles of water were available for the taking, but with a limited number of my favorite bottles I had to create alliances.
The water was around two columns, as seen above, and I was sitting on the front row smack dab in the center. I enlisted my friend Mery to hit the smaller right column, while I pillaged the other. The left column was larger, and so I made a similar deal with my neighbor to the left. We'd swap booty afterwards and made sure that everyone got what they wanted. This was all out war, and pushing and shoving weren't below the belt. At the end of the day, I had a backpack and a box jam packed with 35 bottles of water. And practically every one has a story or something special about it that will make it hard to drink.
While a little odd, this was one of the funnest events I've ever attended. The people were a little quirky - but everyone was open and friendly. It was refreshing to meet so many unpretentious and down-to-earth people. This is the kind of festival where people come year after year - comparing photos of their kids along with memories of stand out waters from years past. First timers seemed a little unsure at first, but by the end were laughing and chatting with new friends and vowing to attend every year. The entire event was a hoot!
I plan on going back every year.
Friday, February 23, 2007
The Incredible Shrinking Mormon World
When the know-it-all 60+ year old man in my Sunday School class started talking about how great the movie New York Doll was, I knew I had to get it in gear and see this movie. Can't have old man winter being more in touch with pop culture than I am.
So I rented the DVD this past weekend. I watched it once and enjoyed it. But only after I got over how completely bizarre Arthur "Killer" Kane was. For most of the movie all I could think was, oh boy, he's that guy. The guy that you talk to because you feel mean not talking to him, but you'd rather be doing something like, oh say, sewing your face to the floor. The take-away of the story is that despite Arthur's wackiness he gets his impossible prayer answered and is reunited with the New York Dolls once more. It's really quite inspirational.
Normally I don't watch the bonus material on DVDs - but since this film was so short and I was bored I started watching the directors interview. I sat there for a second. And then I rewound to the beginning to see that, yes, the director is the same Greg Whiteley I went to school with at BYU. We were in the same ward or some such nonsense. It was surreal watching a movie created by someone I actually knew. Should I let VH1 know that I'm available for interviews of an "I knew him when" ilk? Actually I doubt he'd remember me, since I kept a pretty low profile. But seeing him was a fun throw back to those days of Peter Breinholt and Mamma's Cafe. Ahh - The Good Ole Days.
Naturally, knowing the director made me much more interested in the film. So I watched it a second time. And must say, that even though one viewing is great, it improves upon repetition.
In essence the film did 4 things for me.
So I rented the DVD this past weekend. I watched it once and enjoyed it. But only after I got over how completely bizarre Arthur "Killer" Kane was. For most of the movie all I could think was, oh boy, he's that guy. The guy that you talk to because you feel mean not talking to him, but you'd rather be doing something like, oh say, sewing your face to the floor. The take-away of the story is that despite Arthur's wackiness he gets his impossible prayer answered and is reunited with the New York Dolls once more. It's really quite inspirational.
Normally I don't watch the bonus material on DVDs - but since this film was so short and I was bored I started watching the directors interview. I sat there for a second. And then I rewound to the beginning to see that, yes, the director is the same Greg Whiteley I went to school with at BYU. We were in the same ward or some such nonsense. It was surreal watching a movie created by someone I actually knew. Should I let VH1 know that I'm available for interviews of an "I knew him when" ilk? Actually I doubt he'd remember me, since I kept a pretty low profile. But seeing him was a fun throw back to those days of Peter Breinholt and Mamma's Cafe. Ahh - The Good Ole Days.
Naturally, knowing the director made me much more interested in the film. So I watched it a second time. And must say, that even though one viewing is great, it improves upon repetition.
In essence the film did 4 things for me.
- It made me feel cool (albeit a bit nostalgic) that I knew someone that had made a movie. (a real movie - not one of those silly Mormon movies. I know lots of those guys. Lincoln Hoppe, you're still my secret crush!)
- It inspired me to Google a bunch of old school friends to see if they've done anything notable (thankfully, they're all slackers, just like me).
- It made me want to say my prayers, because if it can happen for that guy, it can happen for anyone.
- It made me want to buy some New York Dolls music. Those funky fem-bots rock!
The Arcade Fires Me Up
I listen to podcasts each day on my bus commute to and from work. Usually I'm trying to keep up with my NPR Story of the Day and Marketplace reports. Both of which are generally delightful and keep me chock full of useful information. But every couple of weeks or so a new edition of NPR All Songs Considered shows up on my ipod. I also consider ASC to be informational learning - to keep me up to date on the music scene - but February 21st's edition was nothing short of epic indulgence!
What started out as a mysterious intro turned into a live concert (in it's entirety) by Indie-Darlings The Arcade Fire. Lots of excellent tracks, but with a truly amazing version of "Wake Up" performed among the audience. Holy crap - it was so good. Pure giddy joy was virtually bubbling out of me. Since I was on the bus, I had to really monitor the spontaneous singing and dancing reflex - I don't want to be one of those crazy bus ladies. This was the perfect way to start a cold Friday morning, and get me in the mood for what is sure to be an awesome weekend.
The show featured many tracks from their new album - which is in stores soon, thank goodness! But lots of old favorites from Funeral. Plus, I'll probably never get to see them live, so this is a good alternative. One of my favorite things about this band is their clever lyrics and images. For example, love this image: "So the neighbors can dance in the police disco lights". I sing this line every time I see the cops.
Thank you All Songs Considered! This is now officially a Good Day.
What started out as a mysterious intro turned into a live concert (in it's entirety) by Indie-Darlings The Arcade Fire. Lots of excellent tracks, but with a truly amazing version of "Wake Up" performed among the audience. Holy crap - it was so good. Pure giddy joy was virtually bubbling out of me. Since I was on the bus, I had to really monitor the spontaneous singing and dancing reflex - I don't want to be one of those crazy bus ladies. This was the perfect way to start a cold Friday morning, and get me in the mood for what is sure to be an awesome weekend.
The show featured many tracks from their new album - which is in stores soon, thank goodness! But lots of old favorites from Funeral. Plus, I'll probably never get to see them live, so this is a good alternative. One of my favorite things about this band is their clever lyrics and images. For example, love this image: "So the neighbors can dance in the police disco lights". I sing this line every time I see the cops.
Thank you All Songs Considered! This is now officially a Good Day.
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