Happy Birthday Camie!

Today is my BFF Camie's birthday. Last year I really outdid myself and got her three really awesome gifts.

First, a cool picture frame from Anthropologie.

Second, I wrapped all of the things I'd borrowed from her over the year and regifted them to her. I think there were three books, a couple of pairs of socks, and maybe a notebook.

Third, this Lookin Good for Jesus Fix-It-Kit. Which I think you'll agree is both WAY AWESOME and TOTALLY USEFUL (both spiritually and physically).
This year's gift could never measure up to last year's in coolness or originality. For one thing, I didn't borrow anything from her this year (that I'm planning on giving back). But even though this won't be as cool as Jesus Lip Balm, part of my gift to Camie on this, her 33rd Birthday, is to list 33 reasons why I'm glad Camie is my friend.

1. She likes grilled cheese sandwiches more than anyone I know.
2. She also really value Tots. I respect that.
3. She's my favorite person to sit with after church ends and look at (critique) everyone’s outfit. I’ve tried doing it solo … it’s not the same.
4. For years she was my Visiting Teacher. Best VT EVER! It was the only time I’ve ever been consistently Visit Taught, and the only time I would actually have considered calling my VT to help me out if I needed anything.
5. Excellent at theme parties. Hello? Plastic lunch trays for the back-to-school party? Genius.
6. My favorite dancing buddy.
7. My favorite shopping buddy.
8. Her driving doesn’t scare me.
9. She remembers the first time we met, even though I don’t. We both remember that we talked to some guy named Al Winner.
10. We became friends by fighting over a boy. It was a tie.
11. We decided to be best friends in a van in Punxsutawney, PA.
12. Neither of us saw the groundhog in Punxsutawney, but we did see WAY too much of the Elderly Turbo Lover in his spandex pants.
13. I can text her at 3AM when I'm attracted to inappropriate men and she won't get mad.
14. We hid in the ladies room together when Tod the Bod started to take off toooo much at Vicki's bridal shower. That was scary.
15. She is my style guru. Seriously.
16. She doesn't get mad (for keeps) when I copy her and buy things that she bought first.
17. She was glad that I left her for dead when she passed out in the shower. (That worked out nicely for me, since I was busy with the international billing rules that may or may not apply to text messages.)
18. She introduced me to 100 calorie Hostess Cupcake packs.
19. She listens to all of the advice I give. She doesn't always take it, but she always lets me give it. It makes me feel useful. (And occasionally wise).
20. She is a really good story teller.
21. I love how she uses the names of co-workers and other friends I don't know in her stories, making it seem like I know them too. Makes me feel included.
22. She thinks that she isn't a people person- but let me tell you, she is. Definitely. She is an expert at making new friends and opening up.
23. She loves Guns 'N Roses. Even though she didn't notice that when she went to see them in concert she thought the opening band was them, and left before GNR took the stage. An honest mistake.
24. She is the Glue.
25. She is the Voice of Reason. (Unless she's flipping out, then I am the Voice of Reason).
26. She loves neutral colors.
27. Her favorite non-neutral color was, and might possibly still be, purple.
28. Beach time with Camie is always uber-relaxing.
29. She has some really good one-liners which I've adopted such as "Tan fat is better than white fat."
30. She has a refreshingly nonchalant attitude regarding parking tickets.
31. Thankfully, she doesn't judge me for the dumb things I do. But even if she did, she would still be my friend.
32. She makes me laugh. V. Important.
33. We're both 33, we're both single, and we're both dealing with the same &^*#. If we had to do this by ourselves I'd definitely be a lot more bitter, and she'd probably be a lot more jaded. It's nice to have someone along for the roller coaster ride.

Happy Birthday Camie!

I'm Seeing Stars!

Could I be MORE in love with this sweater?

No, I could not. Not unless it was free and came with a lifetime supply of Diet Coke.

I Deny It All

So I just got back from a work trip to Las Vegas. And really, for a work trip, I had an AH-Mazing time. I met up with a bunch of friends that I haven't seen for a long time, and made a bunch of new friends. If there's anything I can't have too many of, it's friends that live in exotic places around the world. The food was great, the hotel was AH-Mazing (complete with AH-Mazing marble bathtubs and turn down service with MINTS!), and the casino only shanghaied me out of $5. Good times, good times.

But even with all of the good times, there are still some things that should definitely stay in Vegas. Such as .......

• Seeing one of the male Sr. VPs watching Charmed while running on the treadmill. Come on now, we all watch Charmed from time to time ... but we don't admit it, and we should never do it in public.
• The animatronic show at Caesar's Palace. It was horrible. They could learn a thing or two from Chuck-E-Cheese.
• Dancing like a fool at the opening social. I wish I could blame doing really bad air guitar (twice) on the booze. But I can't. I'm just hoping everyone else really took advantage of the open bar and can't remember.
  
• Singing along with every song at a piano bar. It was a DUELING piano bar, so maybe that makes it better. But probably not.
• Seeing some Ladies of the Night trolling for business in the hotel bar. Got me some edumacation there, I'll tell ya.
  

In the category of things I'm happy to replay in my memory, I saw the fountain at the Bellagio, and I think I might like that better than fireworks. BETTER THAN FIREWORKS!!! That's serious love.

Desperately Seeking Gargamel

I bought some cute smokey-blue corduroy pants last week in preparation for my trip to Las Vegas (more about THAT later). I wore them on the plane ride home today, and overall I really like them. But there is one tiny little problem.

The dye bled all over me and now my legs are entirely blue. Really blue.

If I put on a white shirt, I am a reverse Smurf.



Hot. Super hot. Thanks a lot snazzy cords.

Wherin I Get Served by a Kiosk

Don't you just hate it when you go to the airport, and you walk up to the kiosky thing to get your boarding pass, and it has the audacity to tell you that your flight has already departed? And you're all like, "UH, HELLO kiosky thing, my flight doesn't leave until 10:25, and it's like 9:15. So why don't you go ahead and spit out that boarding card, thankyouverymuch."

And then the kiosky thing gets all up in your face and says, "There IS a flight leaving at 10:25, but YOUR reservation was for the flight that left at 6:30. ThankYOUverymuch. Goodbye."

And then your all like, "WHAT-EV-AH ! You're just a brainless kiosk, what do you know? My massive brain distinctly remembers the 10:25 flight. Here, I'll even SHOW YOU that I'm on the 10:25 flight ... " and then you pull out your printed itinerary, all ready to shove it the kiosk's LCD face, when you see that um, .... yes ..... uh ... "Well, even though it SAYS 6:30, clearly someone has been mucking with the reservation since there's NO WAY I'd ever book a 6:30 flight when there was a 10:25 flight available."

oooooouch. That's rough. I hate it when that happens.

Not only is this a stark reminder that I should engage in reading my itinerary from time to time, but also that flying standby can be a real hassle. And also, that I'm an idiot.

It has cleared a few things up for me though.

First, I now know why Orbitz called me with my flight status at 3:30 in the morning. I couldn't figure out why they were calling me 6 hours before my flight ... usually it's only 3 hours.

And secondly, I really need to look into getting a personal assistant to keep track of all of this crap for me. Clearly I can't handle it solo.

I'm off to Vegas on Sunday ... let's hope I can get my head screwed on straight for that trip.

Live from Michigan

I'm so dedicated to bringing you the LATEST in election '08 coverage, I flew to Michigan to be the first to bring you the news of how their Primary turns out. I'm dedicated like that.

I mean, this is probably the most exciting primary since New Hampshire! Like there are some things about delegate seats and boycotting, best-laid retaliation plans backfiring, and not everyone appearing on the ballot. And holy cow Hillary will have back to back wins; a major advantages of being the only Dem on the ballot. It's pretty exciting stuff. And if I cared about politics at all, I would most certainly be out doing some scintillating exit polling.

But I don't.

Let's illustrate ...

Colleague: So when does Maryland have their primary?

Me: {Blank Look}

Colleague: Is it on Super Tuesday?

Me: {Blank Look}

Colleague: February 5th?

Me: Sure. That sounds good.

So no, I'm not here to bring you the second-by-second summary of the Michigan Primary. Politics are not my cup of tea.

Work is my cup of tea. (I actually have some to do! It's a minor miracle!) Consequently, I'm in Michigan as part of a two-week Work Triptacular. First stop, Ann Arbor ... where my brain will be jammed with useful facts and cheerful information. Then home for the weekend to do laundry and repack before scooting off for a week in Vegas, baby, Vegas.

Consequently, posting will probably be light because obviously I can't tell you about the shenanigans I get up to in Vegas. And there are no shenanigans to be had in Ann Arbor.

But I don't want to leave you high and dry. If I can't think of anything interesting to post about I will just do what I always do and exaggerate wildly until the mundane is exciting again. If that fails, I'll just start following politics and turn this into a political blog. Because the world definitely needs more political blogs.

Is It Spring Already?

I just read this quote by Carson Kressley. (You'll remember him as the loud crazy one on Queer Eye) He said,

"If you have and organized closet and a balanced checkbook you can rule the world!"

He's so wise. And look! Look what I did! I refolded all of my sweaters, organizing them by style and color. I know! I'm a little in awe of myself, too.

Before:



And After:


I refound a whole bunch of sweaters by doing this. It was like I gained 1/2 a wardrobe! (You might also notice that my shirts are also organized by color. I did this a long time ago. But I highly recommend it ... it's easy to maintain and feels like you are shopping in your own closet when everything looks so pretty!)

I got so energized by my tidy closet that I decided that I would also tackle the china I had strewn all around my desk. I unpacked it last year to see how much I had inherited from my grandmother, and well, just never got around to putting it away again.

Before:


And After:


This still needs a little pretty-ing up, but seriously, it's a MAJOR accomplishment to have even cleared up the space.

It's a whole new world here at Chez Gretchen. I'm going to try to be more dedicated to cleaning. Because I really like it when my house is clean. And I'd be clean all of the time, if it weren't for the fact that my dislike of cleaning is kind of a bully. So things get ... um cluttered. And messy. (And hairy. Holy cow ... I have long dark hair, and it is all over my apartment. I can't believe I'm not bald. Fortunately, if I do go bald, I have plenty of hair on hand to make myself a wig.)

To keep things tidy, but not deprive my slothful self, I've decided to follow this cleaning regimen and devote 10 minutes a day to cleaning. A lousy 10 minutes of scrub-a-dub-dub and then I can go back to watching Gossip Girl. My little matchbox apartment will be sparkling in no time!