Somewhere along the way I managed to establish myself in the Post Office's eyes, and now I get loads of meaningless crap with my name emblazoned all over it. It's one of the great ironies of my life that nowadays I really can't be bothered to read any of it.
For several years now I've made a practice of storing up all of my mail for the entire month. I do a cursory glance through when I pick it up - just to make sure there isn't anything odd I need to pay attention to (like photo-cop traffic tickets - damn them!). And then at the end of the month, generally around bill-paying time, I'll sit down to an orgy of coupons and J Crew catalogs.
People generally look at me funny when I mention that I can't go out because I have to read my mail. But there are many pros to this plan.
- Time-sensitive offers (50% off THIS Weekend ONLY) hold no sway over me
- One time trash run, instead of slowly filling up the bin
- Able to compare and contrast fashion catalogs more easily
- Bills and statements are all in one spot and can be easily stuffed in their drawer en masse
- Don't get caught up reading a new catalog when I should be doing something important like watching Seinfeld reruns.
Staring at this pile is a bit daunting. (don't worry, no bills in there -- I hope -- I'm all auto-pay these days. It's fantastic. If you haven't turned over your responsibilities to the internet yet, might I strongly suggest that you join us in the twenty-first century? It's quite lovely here. Lovely and responsibility free.)
I suppose I should get started going through this pile. I'm sorry if you've sent me any cards or other bit of friendly mail this summer. I promise that once I've excavated it you'll get lovely reply sometime before the New Year. I'd promise to get it to you earlier, but it might take a solid week to make it through this pile. After which, I'm sure I'll be so sick of printed material I'll have to take a break from it for a few months. Then I can write you back. Or maybe I'll just send you an email. Yeah, email sounds much better.