Wherin I Am Awesome at Softball

For last night's game I got bumped from my normal spot in Right Field to play 3rd Base. Obviously this concerned me because I don't know much about softball, but I know that those on the left side of the field get significantly more action than those on the right. And they have to do stuff like run and catch and throw. And I'm not really good at running or catching and I'm certainly no good at throwing. I am good at swatting gnats and calling out encouraging things like, "You SUCK!" and "CHOKE!" to keep the other team in high spirits.

But, like the team player I am, I just said, "OK Coach," put on my body armor in case any balls came my way, and jogged out to 3rd base. Mainly my job was to get out of the way of the other team's runners that were rounding my base, which I did without too much cringing. But I did manage to do a couple of other good things while I was out there, such as:

I got my glove on a hard-hit line drive and stopped it from being home run.

I caught a ball - I CAUGHT A BALL!! A BALL THAT WAS HIT BY A BAT! AND WAS GOING REALLY FAST! And I got the batter out!!! I wished my Dad could have seen it ... he would have been so proud. I celebrated with a little Cabbage-Patch dance, followed by a victory lap, and ended with spiking the ball at home plate.

My batting wasn't so great as it has been in the past, but I did end up getting a run. (I think I was the only girl to get one.)

On my way to get my run, I slid into third base. (OK, that was accidental since I slipped on the bag and wiped out after crashing into the 3rd base coach. Unfortunately when he tried to help me up the Ump reprimanded him for "touching the players." Whoops! Now I understand why they wear cleats.)

Finally, I stopped a line drive with my ankle. I do not recommend this approach. It really sucks and really hurts. And I just about cried. But that was before I remembered that there's no crying in baseball, and I figure softball is close enough to have the same rule. I thought for sure my delicate little ankle was broken, but after an icing there's barely even a red mark. Which on the one hand is great because I really do have delicate little ankles and I'd hate to see them marred. But on the other hand is kind of annoying because it really hurt and how am I supposed to impress people with my willingness to sacrifice my body for the good of the game if I don't have any bruises or slings to convey the level of my sacrifice? That's what I want to know.