Camie and I watched the first episode of The Biggest Loser together, and so we thought it would be fun to get together last night and watch the finale. Did you watch it? All season long this show has been bringing me to tears as I watch all of these huge dudes cry and tell each other how they are the wind beneath each others wings. It's totally motivational, and I was excited to watch it with Camie. No one likes to cry alone. The Pope, however, had other plans.
His Popeness is in Washington DC right now, as you might know if you (unlike me) pause between flipping between E!, TLC, and Bravo long enough to see the news. Whenever there is any event such as this, roads are usually closed, and if roads are closed you can bet your 401K that traffic is going to suuuuuuuuuck.
My little 3 mile commute from Bethesda to Silver Spring took a grueling 55 minutes. Camie, coming to my house from DC, really didn't stand a chance.
She called at 7PM and said, "I've been on the Parkway for 45 minutes and I'm only at the CIA exit. I'm turning around."
I nodded into the phone as I calculated how far the CIA exit is from where she'd need to get onto the Beltway. And from there, it was likely that if the Parkway was a mess, the Beltway would look like a CarMaxx parking lot. At this rate she'd be getting to my house at about 11PM.
"Oh yeah!" I said, "Definitely go back home. There's no way you're getting here tonight."
"Sorry!" she said.
"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault! You totally got Pope Slapped!"
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Charlie and Lola
I'm not saying that I am, but if I were the kind of full grown adult that liked to spend their Saturday morning watching cartoons and eating Cocoa Puffs then I would not be the kind that watches lame-o cartoons like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (because at my house the penalty for saying "Kowabunga Dude" is death). I'd be the kind of full grown adult that watches Charlie and Lola.
Charlie is 7, and he has a little sister, Lola, who is very small and also very funny (as he says at the beginning of every episode). I'm not going to evangelize about how great this show is, or how charming Lola is because I'm a full grown adult. And I don't watch cartoons.
But it is. And she is. And Charlie is the nicest older brother any little cartoon girl ever had. Not that I know any of this, though, because thirty-something single women just don't watch children's cartoons unless there is a child in the vicinity. Right? Right.
But when I have kids ... I'm going to let them watch only this show so they can learn to be nice to their brothers and sisters and more importantly to speak with a British accent. I think I could handle them narrating along to the video constantly (as children do) if they were saying in their little British accents things like, "I feel really, really, terribly, ever-so not well. " and "Don't worry, Charlie, I'm going to be here for every minute of all day until you're completely absolutely better." I'm sure that my children's life expectancy will go through the roof if I can somehow get them to have British accents. With regular American-accented whining, it will be touch and go until they are about 29. So Charlie and Lola won't just be entertaining child care, it will double as life insurance. I love it when things are multipurpose.
To get the flavor of Charlie and Lola, check out this tiny little clip. It sums it up pretty well.
Wee, indeed.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wherein Instant Messaging Helps Me to Self Analyze
Me: i love TV so much. and music. and movies. and magazines. and books. But mostly TV.
Aaron: yeah. tv is good. you should marry tv
Me: heck yes, i should! it would be a blissful union
Aaron: if you ever got bored you could just change the channel. unless its late at night and then there's nothing on
Me: true. Of course, TV and i would have to have our alone time. you can't spend 24/7 with your tv without hating its guts after a while
Aaron: thats very true. but if you did something like read a book...would that be considered adultry?
Me: no. i don't think so
Aaron: well you'd be making tv jealous because books are the enemy of tv
Me: no, think of book reading like poker night ... it's just another interest. he might not like it, but it's not cheating. It would only be cheating if I watched another tv.
Aaron: ohh...well you'll have to get a really good tv then and avoid all other tvs when you are at friends' places
Me: gulp. I don't think I'm ready for marriage.
Aaron: yeah. tv is good. you should marry tv
Me: heck yes, i should! it would be a blissful union
Aaron: if you ever got bored you could just change the channel. unless its late at night and then there's nothing on
Me: true. Of course, TV and i would have to have our alone time. you can't spend 24/7 with your tv without hating its guts after a while
Aaron: thats very true. but if you did something like read a book...would that be considered adultry?
Me: no. i don't think so
Aaron: well you'd be making tv jealous because books are the enemy of tv
Me: no, think of book reading like poker night ... it's just another interest. he might not like it, but it's not cheating. It would only be cheating if I watched another tv.
Aaron: ohh...well you'll have to get a really good tv then and avoid all other tvs when you are at friends' places
Me: gulp. I don't think I'm ready for marriage.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Pie! I LOVE Pie!
A new tradition is being started at my house. To watch Pushing Daisies while eating pie. I've been looking for a good excuse to eat pie on a regular basis. So thanks ABC for bringing me a show that has pie as a central theme. If you love Pushing Daisies, and you love pie, then my house on Sunday night is the place to be. (That's when I watch my recorded shows, sans commercials, don'tcha know.) If you're in the area, come on over, I certainly shouldn't be eating all of this pie myself. That can't lead anywhere but to a sugar coma and elastic-waistband pants.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Verzion FIOS, Where Are You When I Need You?
OK, so you guys know that I don't really pay much attention to my finances ... right? I mean I pay attention to them, but I don't get all crazy with a calculator and a monthly budget. I'm more of a glance over my online statement a couple of times a month to make sure everything seems reasonable and that I'm not going to be in any trouble if I want to buy something extravagant like groceries, kind of girl.
So I'm browsing through my statement yesterday and I see that my cable bill is $20 more than it was last month. Since it's Comcast, which at my house I lovingly call The Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan, I immediately fly off the handle: TWENTY DOLLARS?! WHERE THE HELL IS MY TWENTY DOLLARS YOU THIEVING BASTARDS!! You know, that kind of thing.
I immediately rummaged through my pile of mail to see if my bill had arrived so I could get to the bottom of this mystery. But .... it was no where to be found. So I tried calling them. Now, just to give you an idea of how often I have to call the Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan for whatever reason (snowy picture, randomly dropped channel, no picture etc.) I have their local number stored in my phone. (I don't know if this is unusual for most people, but I only store the numbers of people I call a lot like my friends or Baja Fresh.)
So I dialed them up. But - oh what a surprise - they were not taking calls at this time .... whatever THAT happens to mean. So I get on the internet machine and look up the national number. But that TOO dropped my call. I was livid. One good thing about me is that even when livid I can still be rational. So I decided I would just try again tomorrow.
Today, I called them up ready to raise hell.
To protect the innocent I'll call my customer service representative Erica. Because that is her name. And if she wants protection she can ask her Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan employer.
I explain to Erica that I have a mysterious $20 charge, and could she please let me know what it is for? She sleuths around for about 15 minutes while I jam to "Don't Cry Out Loud .... Just keep it inside .... and learn how to hide your feelings" on muzak. When she returned she said that the charge for $19.95 was for a technician call. At some point in August my picture had disappeared and now I was being charged $20 for them to send someone to fix it.
She informed me that I could purchase Service Protection for just $4 a month to keep me from getting these $20 charges if my service fails and someone needs to come out and reinstate it.
At this point my skin peeled back from my face and flames shot out of my eyes. "NO! I am NOT going to pay $4 a month to make sure that you provide me a service that I pay SIXTY dollars a month for you to provide! Doesn't that seem completely ridiculous to you, Erica? Doesn't it? I mean, if you aren't selling a service, what are you selling? Why do you need to sell insurance for your service? Shouldn't service be PART OF THE DEAL?"
Erica agreed. As anyone with even half a brain would do when faced with such irrefutable logic. And she offered to refund the charge, thankyouverymuch.
I'm telling you, as soon as Verizon FIOS is available in my area I'm going to drop The Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan faster than they can say Competition-Infringing-Monopoly. And FIOS may suck, who knows. And really, who cares? Its not about getting FIOS, its about dropping Comcast on its fat corporate ass. Oh and about getting more channels at a better rate on 14 spectrums of light. That'll be cooool.
So I'm browsing through my statement yesterday and I see that my cable bill is $20 more than it was last month. Since it's Comcast, which at my house I lovingly call The Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan, I immediately fly off the handle: TWENTY DOLLARS?! WHERE THE HELL IS MY TWENTY DOLLARS YOU THIEVING BASTARDS!! You know, that kind of thing.
I immediately rummaged through my pile of mail to see if my bill had arrived so I could get to the bottom of this mystery. But .... it was no where to be found. So I tried calling them. Now, just to give you an idea of how often I have to call the Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan for whatever reason (snowy picture, randomly dropped channel, no picture etc.) I have their local number stored in my phone. (I don't know if this is unusual for most people, but I only store the numbers of people I call a lot like my friends or Baja Fresh.)
So I dialed them up. But - oh what a surprise - they were not taking calls at this time .... whatever THAT happens to mean. So I get on the internet machine and look up the national number. But that TOO dropped my call. I was livid. One good thing about me is that even when livid I can still be rational. So I decided I would just try again tomorrow.
Today, I called them up ready to raise hell.
To protect the innocent I'll call my customer service representative Erica. Because that is her name. And if she wants protection she can ask her Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan employer.
I explain to Erica that I have a mysterious $20 charge, and could she please let me know what it is for? She sleuths around for about 15 minutes while I jam to "Don't Cry Out Loud .... Just keep it inside .... and learn how to hide your feelings" on muzak. When she returned she said that the charge for $19.95 was for a technician call. At some point in August my picture had disappeared and now I was being charged $20 for them to send someone to fix it.
She informed me that I could purchase Service Protection for just $4 a month to keep me from getting these $20 charges if my service fails and someone needs to come out and reinstate it.
At this point my skin peeled back from my face and flames shot out of my eyes. "NO! I am NOT going to pay $4 a month to make sure that you provide me a service that I pay SIXTY dollars a month for you to provide! Doesn't that seem completely ridiculous to you, Erica? Doesn't it? I mean, if you aren't selling a service, what are you selling? Why do you need to sell insurance for your service? Shouldn't service be PART OF THE DEAL?"
Erica agreed. As anyone with even half a brain would do when faced with such irrefutable logic. And she offered to refund the charge, thankyouverymuch.
I'm telling you, as soon as Verizon FIOS is available in my area I'm going to drop The Money Grubbing Spawn of Satan faster than they can say Competition-Infringing-Monopoly. And FIOS may suck, who knows. And really, who cares? Its not about getting FIOS, its about dropping Comcast on its fat corporate ass. Oh and about getting more channels at a better rate on 14 spectrums of light. That'll be cooool.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Wednesday's Child
Wednesday is my new reason for living. I'm not even exaggerating about this, you guys. I used to think that Thursday was a pretty great day. It was so close to the weekend, but still had a strong element of anticipation to it. The best parties in college were all on Thursdays. And Thursday's, of course, had the most anticipated television. Yup, Thursday was a great day. Still is, as a matter of fact. But right now I can't even give Thursday the time of day. I am ALL about Wednesdays.
What's so great about Wednesday, you might ask. After all, it does have that really horrible moniker, "Hump Day". Ugggghhh. I hate that. Whoever thought that was clever needs to be beat with a wire hairbrush. And Wednesdays are the day I have to schlep all the way out to College Park during rush hour traffic for Young Women activities. So that doesn't make Wednesday very pleasant. And the work week is only half over, granted you've turned the corner, but there's still plenty to go. In this light, sorry Wednesday. You're a little bit of a loser.
Fortunately, there is a force that overcomes all of the negative things Wednesday has going for it. It's a VERY POWERFUL force. So powerful, in fact, it is actually three things. But united they have the power to elevate poor little jammed in the middle of the everything Wednesday to be loved beyond all measure.
In a phrase, we could call this Monster Force, "Wednesday Night TV". But that doesn't really do it for me. A more appropriate phrase is HOLY-CRAP-I-LOVE-THE-NEW-SHOWS-ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT TELEVISION! I mean, hello? Gossip Girl? Is this not the best show on television? Yes. Yes it is. Or Dirty Sexy Money? 6 minutes into this show I cried out, "Holy Crap! I already LOVE this show". And Life? .... everything I hoped and more. And ... if all of this wonderfulness isn't enough, Pushing Daisies starts this week.
I'm a bit breathless just thinking about it ...
And here's the best bit ... all of these shows are available on the Internet. I can't even tell you how much I LOVE watching shows on the Internet. It's SO convenient! If you haven't had a chance to watch these shows ... fire up your browser baby and hop to it. And then you too will be extra impatient for the weekend to end just so that Wednesday is that much closer. Like me.
What's so great about Wednesday, you might ask. After all, it does have that really horrible moniker, "Hump Day". Ugggghhh. I hate that. Whoever thought that was clever needs to be beat with a wire hairbrush. And Wednesdays are the day I have to schlep all the way out to College Park during rush hour traffic for Young Women activities. So that doesn't make Wednesday very pleasant. And the work week is only half over, granted you've turned the corner, but there's still plenty to go. In this light, sorry Wednesday. You're a little bit of a loser.
Fortunately, there is a force that overcomes all of the negative things Wednesday has going for it. It's a VERY POWERFUL force. So powerful, in fact, it is actually three things. But united they have the power to elevate poor little jammed in the middle of the everything Wednesday to be loved beyond all measure.
In a phrase, we could call this Monster Force, "Wednesday Night TV". But that doesn't really do it for me. A more appropriate phrase is HOLY-CRAP-I-LOVE-THE-NEW-SHOWS-ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT TELEVISION! I mean, hello? Gossip Girl? Is this not the best show on television? Yes. Yes it is. Or Dirty Sexy Money? 6 minutes into this show I cried out, "Holy Crap! I already LOVE this show". And Life? .... everything I hoped and more. And ... if all of this wonderfulness isn't enough, Pushing Daisies starts this week.
I'm a bit breathless just thinking about it ...
And here's the best bit ... all of these shows are available on the Internet. I can't even tell you how much I LOVE watching shows on the Internet. It's SO convenient! If you haven't had a chance to watch these shows ... fire up your browser baby and hop to it. And then you too will be extra impatient for the weekend to end just so that Wednesday is that much closer. Like me.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Rotting My Brain
The Fall Television season is finally here! 'Bout time, too. This summer's television was particularly heinous. I am so OVER game shows!
Anyway, as you know, I don't actually watch TV in real time. I record it, and then watch it all on Sunday afternoon. After analyzing all of my choices, these are the shows that made the recording schedule:
Monday:
8PM - Chuck (Love the commercial when he says he's working on his 5 year plan, he just has to choose a font. HA! A man after my own heart.)
9PM - Heroes (goody, goody! can't wait!)
Tuesday:
9PM - Cashmere Mafia (once it starts in November)
10PM - Boston Legal (love me some James Spader!)
Wednesday:
8PM - Pushing Daisies (This is the show I'm most excited about this season!)
8PMLiveViewing - Kid Nation
9PM - Oh no! too many choices ... time for a GRUDGE MATCH!
Private Practice (would this be Grey's overload??)
Bionic Woman (this could be good or really sucky)
Gossip Girl (based on YA books = good, produced by The OC people = bad)
Votes anyone?
10PM - Life (Love Damian Lewis ... hope his show is good.)
10PMLiveViewing - Dirty Sexy Money
Thursday:
8PM - Ugly Betty (I heart Henry!)
8PMLiveViewing - My Name is Earl/30 Rock
9PM - Grey's Anatomy (despite the good news that Isiah "I'm a pompous ass" Washington is out, this show might be on the chopping block. Not sure why, just not feeling it.)
9PMLiveViewing - The Office
10PM - Big Shots (this might not be a keeper, either)
So there you have it. The Fall Line Up. What do you think? Could I possibly be missing anything? What are you watching this Fall?
Anyway, as you know, I don't actually watch TV in real time. I record it, and then watch it all on Sunday afternoon. After analyzing all of my choices, these are the shows that made the recording schedule:
Monday:
8PM - Chuck (Love the commercial when he says he's working on his 5 year plan, he just has to choose a font. HA! A man after my own heart.)
9PM - Heroes (goody, goody! can't wait!)
Tuesday:
9PM - Cashmere Mafia (once it starts in November)
10PM - Boston Legal (love me some James Spader!)
Wednesday:
8PM - Pushing Daisies (This is the show I'm most excited about this season!)
8PMLiveViewing - Kid Nation
9PM - Oh no! too many choices ... time for a GRUDGE MATCH!
Private Practice (would this be Grey's overload??)
Bionic Woman (this could be good or really sucky)
Gossip Girl (based on YA books = good, produced by The OC people = bad)
Votes anyone?
10PM - Life (Love Damian Lewis ... hope his show is good.)
10PMLiveViewing - Dirty Sexy Money
Thursday:
8PM - Ugly Betty (I heart Henry!)
8PMLiveViewing - My Name is Earl/30 Rock
9PM - Grey's Anatomy (despite the good news that Isiah "I'm a pompous ass" Washington is out, this show might be on the chopping block. Not sure why, just not feeling it.)
9PMLiveViewing - The Office
10PM - Big Shots (this might not be a keeper, either)
So there you have it. The Fall Line Up. What do you think? Could I possibly be missing anything? What are you watching this Fall?
Monday, August 20, 2007
Awesome Dawson
I should probably be embarrassed about this fact, but I'm not. I'm a loud and proud fan, and I'm completely addicted to Dawson's Creek.I've recently discovered it on TBS, and the only thing I can think about is: WHY didn't I know about this show when it was on Primetime? What was I wasting my time watching when I could have been angsting along with Joey, Pacey, Dawson and the entire Capeside High Crew?
I certainly wasn't watching my other Series That I Most Regret Not Watching: Felicity. Where are my priorities? I also missed most of Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, and Freaks and Geeks. I'm utterly ashamed of myself.
And if I missed those, just think of what great shows I could be missing right now!
No, I can't. I can't think about it! It's too depressing. Besides, I'm doing my best to try and make amends by watching Dawson's anytime I can. The fact that it's on at 9AM, which is an awkward time if you want to stay employed, only demonstrates the level of my remorse and devotion. I suppose I could record it, but I think it means more if I sacrifice. And besides I'm a little bit opposed to recording reruns. I hope TBS starts syndicating Felicity soon, so I can make up there too.
Gosh, I'm starting to analyze my Fall TV line up and all of this "hindsight is 20/20" business is sure increasing the pressure to pick the best shows. I'll post my schedule soon just to make sure that everyone agrees that I'm dedicating my time wisely. Don't want to be smacking my head in 10 years that I wasn't watching Pushing Daisies because I spent all of my time on "So You Think You Can Make Fart Noises Like A Fifth Grader".
In the meantime, help me know that I'm not alone. What TV shows did you not watch that you wish you had?
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