Off To A Weird Start

I thought it would be more interesting to tell you about this crazy dream I had last night than to do a more traditional New Year's post and share that this year's resolution is to "Love My Job." That theme is a little tired. But dreams! Now that's exciting stuff!

I am one of those fortunate fools that can remember their dreams. I've always loved this about me because my dreams are CRAZY!! (But one of the many many reasons I enjoy sleeping so much.) Typically they are pretty wild featuring lots of chasing and fighting. My favorites are where I'm punching the hell out of somebody. It's so out of character for me, that I find it very satisfying. I'm a bit of a badass.

In last night's dream I had an ATM card that would gift me with thousands of dollars in quarters every time I swiped it. After a few swipes the bank figured out that I was being gifted with this money (for some reason they called it "stealing." The nerve!) and had put the kabash on me ever using it again. Even though I was forbidden to use it I still had the card and wanted to see if it would still work. (One does this type of crazy nonsensical stuff in dreams). So I swiped it between the grates of an air grille and quarters instantly came spilling out everywhere!

No sooner did the quarters start making a nice little pile than my phone rang. The caller ID showed that it was the police! I didn't answer (duh!), but I knew that THEY knew that I had swiped the card again, and they were coming after me.

Scared to death, I high-tailed it out of my apartment. Not stopping to grab anything ... I just ran. I ran all the way down the street, into Rock Creek Park, through various neighborhoods, dodged behind some school buses as I watched cop cars patrolling the area, before finally making it to a train station where I hopped on a train.

It was at this point where I realized that I hadn't brought anything with me. No money, no phone, no magic ATM card. Nothing. I started freaking out (even more than I was already freaking out). But then I thought, "Calm down, it's ok. Just call Mom and Dad. They'll wire you the money for the train ticket to Colorado. It'll be ok. It'll be ok." And I started to relax.

But then I remembered I didn't have my phone. I'd left it at home with everything else. Blast! I reluctantly asked to borrow one from the woman sitting behind me. With the phone in my hand I started to dial, but then remembered that my parents no longer live in my childhood home in Colorado ... and I had no idea what their new phone number was. For that matter, since all numbers are stored in my phone and not in my brain I didn't know ANYONE's phone number! I had no idea how I was going to pay for my train ride, let alone where I should go, or who I could get to help me. I was entirely alone in the world. A huge family, tons of friends, and I couldn't contact any of them. That's a really scary feeling, friends.

With the conductor closing in on me, I thought I was lost. He would kick me off the train. The police would catch me. My life would basically be over. I HAD to stay on that train! But with no money and no one to call I couldn't see how.

But then, like a flash I realized that I could be saved by the most unlikely of sources: Online Shopping! Doing so much online shopping has drilled my credit card number into my brain. I was saved! I knew all of that shopping would become really handy some day! I happily drifted out of the dream repeating that blessed 16-digit number over and over again, knowing that everything would turn out all right so long as I had a credit card number. The end.

I'm now putting myself through a regimen of memorizing my family member's phone numbers, and stashing cash and credit cards around the city just in case this dream ever comes true. My dreams have come true before, so it's best to be prepared.